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Linda Budzinski's picture

Book Review: Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions

Author's note: I have recently acquired a nice stack of marketing and business books with the intention of reviewing them here on a semi-regular basis. I will not rate each book as good or bad; rather, I intend to give an overview of what the reader will find and then pull out one lesson or principle to discuss more in-depth.

For the first installment, I've selected Guy Kawasaki's "Enchantment." The timing is no coincidence, as Guy is speaking on this very topic at our Annual Convention next week and part of my job as director of communications is to promote the heck out of that event. (That's what is known as "immediate and complete disclosure" and can be found on page 30 in the book in a section on "How to Achieve Trustworthiness." Guy would be proud, I'm sure.) "Enchantment" will not be in stores until March 8--which BTW is just in time for Guy's book sale and signing at the Convention!--but Guy was kind enough to send me a preview copy. And so, without further ado:

In "Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions," Guy Kawasaki offers us advice on how to enchant others--customers, prospects, employees, bosses and anyone whose hearts, minds or actions we may wish to change. From simple advice on how to smile and dress to complex explanations of how to make the best use of push and pull technologies, the book offers dozens of practical ideas on how individuals and companies can become more enchanting.

At the end of each chapter are personal stories of enchantment from everyday people. From the honeymooner who was enchanted by above-and-beyond service at a Disney hotel to the skeptic who was enchanted by a church service to a store manager who was enchanted by a dedicated temp, these stories show that anyone, anywhere, anytime can make a real difference and a lasting impression.

Overcoming Resistance by Finding a Way to Agree

One example of how to enchant others is to "Find a Way to Agree." This technique is particularly important, according to Kawasaki, when we face resistance. Finding a way to agree makes us more likeable and it gives us a foothold, however small, from which we can build a relationship. Kawasaki offers five methods for finding a way to agree that are particularly useful for those attempting a sale or other negotiation:

  • Get personal. Learn about your prospect's interests and hobbies. What do you have in common?
  • Get professional. Same principle. Research your prospect's work history and business network. What skills, experience or business associates do you have in common?
  • Harmonize objections. Someone says your prices are too high? Explain how your firm offers a better value and more services than the low-cost provider down the street.
  • Ask "What if ...?" Be flexible, or at least explore how your prospect's opinion might differ if you could change something. The prospect doesn't want "a lot of fuss"? What if ... we hold a simple service followed by coffee and finger foods right here in our hospitality lounge?
  • Move the window. This is based on the Overton theory, which holds that there is a political "window," or range of policies, people will accept: unthinkable/radical/acceptable/sensible/popular. So if you start out proposing something unthinkable, something previously deemed radical might become acceptable. Perhaps the proposal to construct an individual mausoleum is beyond your prospect's means and desires, but introducing that option might make a family burial estate seem entirely reasonable. You've moved the prospect's window.

Finding ways to agree is just one of many methods for enchantment found in the book. In a profession such as cemetery and funeral service, where building rapport and relationships is so important, Kawasaki's advice points the way toward genuine, powerful, enduring connections.

judyfaaberg's picture

Watch those details! Families certainly are.

What sort of image do you and your establishment and staff project? What are those first impressions you convey?

As the executive director of the Washington Cemetery & Funeral Association I receive a variety of calls from public and press. Today's was from a man who, while he did not want to make waves, wanted to let us know that he felt one of our members had provided a less than professional experience, not to mention somewhat disconcerting experience, to him and his family.

He had discovered a relative who'd died in 1925 was buried in a Seattle cemetery. He went to find the grave. There was no parking around the office so he parked alongside the road. The owner/manager smoked cigarettes throughout their encounter (!!) in the office, which he described as more or less industrial-looking, not so comforting or comfortable.  He inquired about the location of the grave and was given directions. He could not locate the grave. Returning to the office, he was told there probably wasn't a gravestone but there should be a very small concrete temporary marker. Couldn't find that, either. Returned to the office again, asked if he could probe around the area for the temporary marker, was told "no". Bottom line: if he wanted to find his uncle's grave he'd have to buy a marker (this was implied, not directly told to him). He inquired where he could buy a marker and was told he could only buy one from the cemetery, not from an outside provider. This is not legal, but he didn't know this.

Net result: he bought a marker from the cemetery and was satisfied with how it turned out, but felt somewhat unsettled by the whole encounter. Again, he did not want to make waves, but was curious if his experience was normal, or not. Felt like someone should know about it. Called me.

I asked a few questions and thanked him for calling me. I told him I would share his experience with my newsletter readers. In my work as editor of our association's newsletter, I often share stories and articles reinforcing for our members the importance and delicacy of the work they do. I found this man's story to be a real opportunity for me to remind people about the importance of first impressions, of customer service, and of the legalities of what they can and cannot do.

All of which is to say: be acutely aware of the image you and your staff present to your families!! Be cognizant of every detail. Have your staff critique each other and for godsakes send out surveys to your at-need customers - and pay close attention to what they have to say.

In these days of frugal shoppers it's more important than ever to provide as close-to-perfect service as you can.

[And now for a commercial message: attend every ICCFA event you can - you'll learn all the nuts and bolts you need to be the most classy act in town!] [ditto: attend every WCFA event for the same results]

The Dawn of Twilight Services

Date Published: 
July, 2004
Original Author: 
TIm Lancaster
Eternal Hills Memorial Gardens & Funeral Home, Klamath Falls, Oregon
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, July 2004

Who made up the rule that funeral services will be at 10 a.m. or 2 p.m. weekdays?
For whom is that convenient, other than the funeral home and cemetery staff?
With some planning and willing employees, you can offer families services seven days a week, including evenings, without overtime charges or a staff mutiny.

One night as I was on my way to buy medicine for my daughter, who had a fever of 102 degrees, I thought to myself. "Boy, kids always seem to get sick at night. It's a good thing this place is open at 11 p.m."

As I continued driving, I started thinking about something my boss, Bob Gordon Sr., CCFE, and I had talked about after an ICFA meeting in Las Vegas. At the meeting, Ernie Heffner of Heffner Funeral Homes & Crematory in Pennsylvania had described a program he called the Twilight Service.

If a pharmacy can be open at night for the convenience of families, why can't a funeral home do the same? Sure, we're available when needed to handle a first call, but why don't we make it easy for families to schedule services in the evening or on weekends instead of during the work week, during regular work hours?

As we thought about how we could offer families this service without charging for overtime, we decided it was mainly a scheduling problem. We further realized that our employees would have to buy into the idea for it to be possible. Our office staff would be affected, since we would be keeping the office open on weekends. And when families wanted to follow an evening funeral service with a committal service in our cemetery, the grounds department would also be affected.

Flex Time and Three-Day Weekends
We began by creating three teams, each of which included a funeral director as unit manager, two family service counselors, one or two office staff members and one or two grounds crew members.

We then set up three different weekly schedules, which each team would rotate through.

• Schedule 1: Work Sunday and Monday; off Tuesday and Wednesday; work Thursday through Saturday.

• Schedule 2: Work Sunday through Thursday; off Friday and Saturday.

• Schedule 3: Off Sunday; work Monday through Wednesday, off Thursday; work Friday and Saturday.
As you can see, between weeks 2 and 3 the team members get a three-day weekend. This "bonus" every third week provides some payback or incentive for employees to go along with the system.

This is not to say that everyone immediately embraced the concept. There were the usual threats of mutiny that any change of this type tends to generate, but in the end most people realized it would provide a real service to the community. We also provided employees who went along with the program a bonus for each twilight service held.

A few people chose not to participate, and that was OK; our staff is large enough to provide enough people to handle the special shifts without 100 percent buy-in. We eventually worked out all the bugs and created a Twilight Service program that offers services and interments seven days a week, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., with no overtime charge to families.

Because of the 12-hour coverage, employee commitment to the program was essential, since it meant they were working a flexible schedule designed for the convenience of families. If staff has an interment scheduled for 7 p.m., they'll be coming to work at 11 a.m. instead of 8 a.m. so that they can stay late without overtime cost to be passed on to the family.

In addition to having the personnel in place, we needed to get our cemetery ready for services that might take place after dark through the addition of the following pieces of equipment:
•    generator,
•    halogen lights,
•    backhoe with lights and
•    tractor and trailer with lights.

Telling the Community
Once we were ready to offer twilight services, the next step was to let the community know. We created brochures which we placed on our arrangement tables and we placed television and newspaper advertisements.

We started marketing the new Twilight Service on a Monday. On Tuesday, I sat down with a family to make at-need arrangements. The widow, daughter and son-in-law of the deceased were there together. As we discussed the time for the service, the son-in-law said that Saturday would be fine, but that he was going through a year-end review at work and would not be able to leave his job until 4 p.m., so he would not be able to make it.

His wife and mother-in-law began to agree that he would simply have to miss the service when I spoke up to explain our new evening service option. They couldn't believe their ears, but happily agreed to schedule the service at 7 p.m. Saturday at no extra charge.

Saturday evening, the deceased's grandson closed his eulogy with a prayer and then raised his head just in time to see the sun setting behind the mountains that provide a scenic backdrop to our facilities. "Though my family and Eternal Hills planned this service for this evening," he said, "it is quite obvious that God has ordained it."

Since that first successful service, Eternal Hills has held many more Twilight Services. We are the only funeral home and cemetery in our area willing to accommodate families in this way, and the community seems to appreciate it. Seeing how families respond to our willingness to provide this service gives our employees a boost worth at least as much as the bonuses we give them.

From the brochure Eternal Hills uses to explain and promote its Twilight Service (the information is also posted on Eternal Hills' Web site):

-    Introducing the new Twilight Service. At last, funeral services when everyone can attend ... at no extra cost!
-    A Twilight Service is any service scheduled between the hours of 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. and conducted at our facilities. It may be selected with either burial or cremation arrangements.
-    Evening visitations and services make a real difference! Many employers only allow leave from work to attend services for the closest of family without the loss of wages. The Twilight Service allows everyone to attend and celebrate the life of that special person without financial penalty or disruption of work.
-    Are only certain services available for Twilight Services? No. All of our 20 value-priced packages or any of our services are available for the Twilight Service seven days a week without additional charges.
-    We encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas with us so that we can arrange a meaningful service. We pay close attention to details.

Code: 
A1470

How to target What Your Families Care About Most

Date Published: 
May, 2004
Original Author: 
Tom Smith & Tom Pfeifer
Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum, Cincinnati, Ohio
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, May 2004

WHAT: Ten years of data collection at Spring Grove tells us that, hands down, the top complaints are:

•    flower vase issues;
•    the condition of markers or memorials; and
•    the condition of graves.

Depending on the time of the year and weather conditions, the ranking of those three may change, but they are always the top three customer concerns.

Vases: Maybe some part of the vase is missing, or the vase has been damaged or it's stuck—"I can't get it out of the ground." You may get someone 78 years old coming into the office and saying, "I remember my great-grandmother bringing me here when I was a 3 year old, and we'd leave beautiful little poseys on my great-grandfather's grave, and now I can't find the vase. Can you help me figure out where it is?" The last time he saw the vase was 75 years ago, but it's like yesterday to him.

Markers: Maybe the marker has sunk on one comer so it's not lawn level. There could be a little bit of soil on the marker. The marker could have a little bit of grass growing around the edge or beginning to encompass it, or if it's fall, there could be dead leaves covering it.

Markers get damaged. A flat marker can get chipped if it's not perfectly horizontal or if the ground around it wasn't level. The front pan of a mower where the blades are can cause a little chip. A mower might bump the corner of all upright marker when the operator is trying to maneuver around it.

In some cases, rubberized equipment leaves a mark on a memorial. This may not sound bad on the face of it, but psychologically, there's not much worse than seeing a tire mark—which is easily identifiable—on a loved one's memorial. What that conjures up in the mind is just awful. So even though this may not seem like a big deal—you see those rubber marks all the time on roads, in parking lots—in a cemetery, the situation is totally different, and we need to be sensitive to that.

Graves: One of the bigger issues is a grave that has sunk, even a little bit. Whether it's an inch or three inches, a sunken grave conjures up the same anxiety, concern and frustration. From the cemeterian's viewpoint, it might seem having graves sink "only" an inch is progress compared to the days when graves would sink several inches. But from the customers' point of view, it's just as bad. Seeing a sunken grave rekindles the whole grieving process.
WHY: While you do need to attend to things like tree maintenance, you'll never get a complaint from a family about a tree with a dead branch. You need to make it a priority to know which issues are most important to your families and to constantly stay on top of those issues.

When people find out you're in the cemetery business, sometimes they say, "You've got the best customers in the world—they don't talk back." We chuckle, of course, but they don't think about all the family members who are left behind and are upset because someone they love died.

"Gosh, I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't know it was going to happen so soon. Why did that happen to someone I love?" They're frustrated, so any little thing wrong in the cemetery is going to set them off.

A lot of people just want to find something that someone did—or didn't do—and get mad at someone as an outlet for their emotions. "The grass on the grave is getting too dry. That's unacceptable—that's my mother's grave! Don't they understand—that's where my mother is buried! I'm going down there to give someone in that office a piece of my mind!"

The person taking the request/complaint must not take it personally. These family members may still be grieving, and that's why they're set off by something as simple as not being able to find a vase. The death may have taken place five years ago, and then something happened to stir up their memories and that grief.

HOW: Step one is to acknowledge the frustration felt by the person complaining. Train the people taking these complaints to say, "I understand exactly what you're saying,
Mrs. Jones. My gosh, I'd feel the same way, if not more upset. You’re being very patient."

The longer you're in the business, the more sensitive you become to these issues and the easier it is to not take these things personally and to respond the correct way. It can be hard to train new people to understand how our families feel. When you bring in a student to do some part-time grounds work, or hire a full-time worker who's 21, it would be almost bizarre for them to have the same sensitivity as people who have been in the industry a long time.

It's not their fault—it's just that someone that young usually hasn't been exposed to death enough to understand what's going through a person's mind. We do some role playing to try to show our newer employees what our customers are thinking and feeling.

We make all our managers rotate through the customer service position—a lot of them for more than a year rotating people helps prevent burnout. Even when you know how to handle the families, it can be fatiguing. If you get three or four traumatic cases in a day, when you go home you are absolutely beaten down.

Spending some time dealing with these issues is also good training, because it lets everyone understand the significance of the business we're in. And by having a lot of people go through the experience, we can bounce ideas off each other: "Here's what I've used in situation X that really calmed the situation."
Step two: Brainstorm some preventive steps that make sense at your cemetery to try to cut down on your most common complaints. At Spring Grove, we've examined our "big three" and taken the steps outlined below.

Vases For Everyone
Historically at Spring Grove, which is a very large cemetery, anyone who wanted to could have a permanent vase installed at lawn level. Our experience is that over time, it's going to become a problem for the cemetery. The vase will become silted in; grass is going to grow over it. The chain is finally going to deteriorate. It may take a while, but we've been around since 1845, and eventually the weather is going to take a toll and create a situation that is going to frustrate a customer someday.

Through talking to our families when they visit and in focus groups, we learned that all people want is to be able to bring in some fresh flowers on Mom's birthday, or their wife's anniversary, or for Christmas or some other holiday.

Everyone may not agree with this approach, but we decided that the only people who will be allowed to install permanent vases will be those who bought their property when it was allowed. In new sections, we don't allow permanent vases.

Instead, we provide complimentary inexpensive (they cost us about $1 a piece) temporary vases. They are available in 25 racks we've placed throughout the park. We call them "temporary" not because they are throw-aways but because they're left out for about a week or 10 days, while the flowers last. Then we collect them and put them back in the rack.

People find this to be incredibly acceptable—they love the concept. All they really want is a container—they don't really care what kind of container it is. In this day and age, they're on their way home from work, they stop at Kroger's to pick up bread and milk, see some flowers and think, "Oh, gee, it's Mom's birthday tomorrow, I think I'll get this little bouquet and run by the cemetery." They know they'll be able to grab a vase from the rack—they won't have to search for the vase or dig it up.

There is a metal sign at the bottom of every rack that says, "If by any chance this vase rack doesn't have any vases in it, please stop by our office, which is open seven days a week, to pick up a free vase."

The families are happy and it cuts down on our maintenance problems. During a cold winter, when freezing water might make even a bronze vase crack down the side, we've got customers in the office saying, "Hey, my vase is cracked; what happened?" We can explain what happened,
but do you think that's what the customer wants to hear? No way! All they're really saying is, "Fix it." If there is a problem with an existing permanent vase, we quickly repair it at no charge.

Newer cemeteries may not have this problem, but for an older cemetery, you do have those 78-year-olds coming in to put flowers in great-grandmother's vase and expecting it to be in the same pristine condition it was in 75 years ago. They think it should be a "forever vase," just like the cemetery's going to be there forever.
Any vase outside for 100 years isn't going to be in perfect condition, and if we are doing our job as cemeterians, we're thinking in that kind of time frame. We shouldn't think, "Well, I'm not going to worry about it—I'll be dead and somebody else can worry about the customer then." We've got to be proactive and think long-term.

TLC for Markers
We've done a number of things to try to cut down on complaints about markers:
•    We try to inspect each marker after it has been installed.
•    We've tried to improve our setting process, doing more compaction before the marker is placed.
•    When it's particularly wet, we try to use boards to displace the weight of the equipment over a larger area and protect the ground.
•    We have increased the number of times per season that we do vertical string trimming in each section. One of the concerns customers have today is that grass starts growing in from the edges over horizontal markers. To prevent this, don't just scalp out the grass around the marker, turn the string trimmer 90 degrees to the marker and edge it just like you would a sidewalk.
•    We reward employees for reporting sunken areas where a mower pan might chip a marker.
•    We immediately take care of chips, stains or any other problems the family reports. If a chip is significant enough or the customer is adamant, by golly, we'll replace the marker.

Settling Grave Problems
Graves are a challenge for cemeterians all over the country, especially for those who are in freeze/thaw areas or who have the type of clay, very compacted soils we have. We've tried doing a better job initially of tamping down the soil to prevent settling. We know when we do it under perfect conditions in August or September, we're not ever going to get a complaint from the family.

In the winter, when we're dealing with gooey, wet, super-saturated soils, we know it's going to be very difficult to compact the soil without any settling. We use a special aggregate or a gravel to minimize the compaction or settling. The pourable aggregate goes around the vault and no settling takes place there. We've improved the process, but we're not 100 percent satisfied.

Code: 
A1461

The Rebekah Principle

Date Published: 
March, 2004
Original Author: 
John Bolton
Heritage Family Cemeteries, Johnson City, Tennessee
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, March-April 2004

It's often easy to do exactly what families ask and expect you to do.
Actively looking for a way to do more is harder, but ultimately more rewarding.

Sometimes, we tend to take simple things in life for granted. Take for example, getting a drink of water. We can walk into any convenience store and find a wide variety of bottled waters, or we can simply turn on the tap and fill up a glass.

But think with me back to the days of the Old Testament. There was no running water; there were no convenience stores. While the men were fighting battles, tending then: herds or working the fields, the women had to carry a jug on their shoulders to the town well, a river or spring to get water. Many times, the women had to walk several miles to the nearest source of water and this task would take several hours.

The Old Testament tells the story of one young woman who, walking home from the town well, carrying her filled water jug on her shoulders, was approached by a stranger. He was covered with dirt and dust, leading a herd of 10 camels but she could tell he came from a good house. When he asked her for a drink of water, she not only graciously allowed him to drink but also asked, "May I please water your camels as well?"

This simple act of generosity may not seem overwhelming to us today, but in that time and place, it was no small offer. This was not like filling a dog bowl with water or handing someone a bottle of Evian; her offer involved providing water for animals that can consume 20 gallons of water at a time.

Let's do some quick camel-watering calculations:
• 10 camels at 20 gallons each = 200 gallons
• 200 gallons drawn with a 5 gallon jug = 40 trips
• 40 trips at a conservative 3 minutes per trip = 2 hours

What seemed like a simple act of generosity would take this woman more than 2 hours to fulfill.
The woman was Rebekah. The story, from Genesis 24: 12-15, describes how Abraham sent a servant to find a wife for his son Isaac. After much searching, the servant came upon a town well, where he prayed, "Now let it be the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink,' —let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac." Rebekah, by her simple act of kindness, became the answer to a prayer, Isaac's wife and an ancestor of Jesus.

Practicing the Principle
What can this Bible story teach us? At our Heritage Family Cemetery locations, we practice the Rebekah Principle, which is simply: Go the extra mile.

We strive to go the extra mile for every family we serve and every person we encounter. Our aftercare program is a perfect example and is an element we use to set ourselves apart from our competition. Whether it's grief-care seminars or phone cards to make it easier for people to call out-of-town relatives, we offer every family a high standard of care.

It is not just family counselors who follow the Rebekah Principle. Our maintenance staff practices it by providing water during tent services on hot days, by adding extra color to the flower beds, by sodding every grave when it is closed and by re-setting the memorial at the time of the grave closing.

A key component of providing this superior level of service is simply listening to families. We train every person in our company who may have contact with a family in the importance of good listening and communication skills. This includes office personnel, maintenance staff and counselors.

Many times, we are so busy talking that we miss important information that could give us the key about how to go the extra mile for that particular family.

Providing more than the family expects reaps many rewards; I call it the shampoo effect. Remember the commercial from the early 1980s where somebody had such a great shampooing experience that they told two friends, each of whom told two friends, and so on and so on? The same thing can happen with your business, if you make it standard practice to go the extra mile.

If a customer is happy with the experience they have with your funeral home or cemetery, they will tell everyone they know, then those people will tell someone else, and so on and so on.

Major League Baseball had an ad campaign that said, "Baseball Fever-CATCH IT!" We aim to practice the Rebekah Principle every day with every family so that they will catch "Heritage Fever" and then pass it on to everyone they know.

Too many times in today's fast-paced society, we practice the opposite of the Rebekah Principle. We feel like saying to ourselves, "I'm going to do the least that is expected of me and I'm going to try to get the most out of it." This attitude should be contrary to the goals and beliefs of any company that provides a service, especially one as important as funeral service.

We should be saying, "I'll do what you asked me to do, then I'll do something more!" It is always easy to talk the talk and harder to walk the walk. Remember how Rebekah's simple act changed the world and have confidence that your efforts will not go unrewarded.

Take those basic steps in serving your families, then keep going-go the extra mile. You, your employees and your company will find the journey and the rewards fulfilling.

Code: 
A1458

The gift of simpler follow-ups

Date Published: 
June, 2005
Original Author: 
Richard Perl
Mobile Memorial Gardens, Mobile, Alabama
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, June 2005

Adapted from a presentation at the 2005 ICFA Annual Convention

It's easy to say you need to do family service follow-ups, hard to come up with a system that works.

It was not that many years ago when no one had a family service team, let alone knew what "family service follow-up" meant. Then it seemed everybody jumped on the bandwagon and established a "family service unit."

I can remember sitting in the audience at a convention, listening to a speaker talk about the "circle of opportunity" that extends out from your at-need families. I walked away from that session excited to get back to my office and start working what I believe the speaker referred to as the "seven circles (or layers) of opportunity."

The concept is sound, and I have preached and taught it for years. I always had a problem, though, in getting my family service counselors to do it. They would promise to improve their family follow-up, but it never seemed to happen.

It took me years to realize what the problem was. It was like telling a new counselor that "everyone is a prospect"—which is something we've all said (or had said to us). But "everyone" is too broad a definition. If you cannot narrow it down, "everyone" soon becomes "no one."

I have found the same to be true with family service follow-up. We have so many opportunities that it's easy to end up not working any of them effectively.

Find a focus for your follow-ups
So what is the answer? Identify a specific group of people outside the family but with a special connection to the deceased and his or her family.

In the cases I've dealt with, the answer we've come up with time and time again is the pallbearers. Why?

• They have been recognized by the family to have a special relationship to the deceased and the family.

• They are among the few people who physically participate in the funeral ritual, by carrying the casket.

• Due to their closeness to the deceased, their grief is nearly equal to that of the immediate family. (If the use of pallbearers is not common in your area, select another category of people.)

The next question we asked was how we can thank the pallbearers for their participation in the funera1. Very often we give them a white carnation, which we ask them to place on the casket at the end of the service.

More than once, I've heard a pallbearer ask if he could keep the flower. That told us that people would like a tangible memento of the funeral.

In trying to select a memento to be delivered by our family service follow-up counselors, we noted that almost all pallbearers are men. I'm not sure why this is, other than tradition, but it's true. Therefore, we decided to come up with a gift that most men would appreciate, something that would be seen as having lasting value.

Select a gift
This is how we chose a small, stainless steel pocket knife as our "in remembrance" gift. The knife includes a small blade, scissors and a nail file. The engraving on one side says "In Remembrance," and on the other, the name of the funeral home or cemetery.

The engraved pocket knife is delivered in a box. (We do not engrave the name of the deceased on the knives because we have not come up with a way to do so at a reasonable cost.)

During the arrangement conference, we tell the family that we will be delivering a special "in remembrance" gift to the pallbearers on their behalf. We then show them the pocketknife, which is enclosed in an attractive box.

If the family asks if they can give it to the pallbearers themselves, we tell them we would like to handle it on their behalf, and most people let it go at that. (Yes, this surprised me.)

More often than not, the family asks if we can make the remembrance gift available to others who participate in the service. Our answer is always "yes," of course.

We have found that when we conduct the follow-up by delivering the gift to the pallbearers and any others the family has added to the list, the reception our counselors have received has been overwhelmingly positive.

People tell us that each time they touch the “in remembrance” knife in their pocket it helps them remember their departed friend.  This small token from the funeral home or cemetery becomes priceless.

Code: 
A1403

Service with a personal touch

Date Published: 
May, 2005
Original Author: 
Tom Smith & Tom Pfeifer
Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum, Cincinnati, Ohio
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, May 2005

When you deal with the basics of cemetery operations, with excavating and backfilling, with lowering caskets and setting stones, it's easy to forget the real basics of cemetery operations: the personal touch so crucial in dealing with families in a caring and compassionate way.

WHAT: We've tried to instill in all our employees the "Spring Grove Basics." This list of 15 basics of service for employees to live by started with Andy Conroy, our former president.

About 15 years ago, he came back from a trip where he stayed in a hotel that had something similar and he decided to adapt the idea for tile cemetery. We have the steps printed out on a trifold card we carry with us.

WHY: We're not really in the grass-cutting or grave-digging business, we're in the memory business. It's easy to forget that as we go about our everyday work.

We start the morning with a meeting where we go over the work we have to handle that day, and it's excavate this and backfill that and get the sod in quickly over there. We start thinking in cemetery jargon and if we don't watch it, by the time we walk out of that room to begin the work, we're acting like automatons.

When we catch ourselves feeling this way, we need something to remind us what business we're in.

HOW: Our 15-step list is printed on a card we can fit in a pocket. Most of the steps deal with how we interact with customers. The 15-step Spring Grove program for giving your families excellent service with a personal touch:

#1. Our duty & our mission will be known, owned & practiced by all employees. Anybody
who joins our team has got to be marching to the same beat. Our duty is to treat every customer with care and respect.

We have funerals every day; our customers do not. If you're doing your job on automatic pilot, like a robot, you forget that the family you're serving today may not have been to a cemetery in a decade—if ever.

#2. The three steps of service will be practiced by all employees. The three steps are listed on another part of the card:

• Give a sincere greeting. Use the visitor's name if and when possible. Give a friendly goodbye.
• Anticipate and comply with the needs of our families and visitors.
• When a customer is upset; let him or her talk—count to 10 before answering. Another way of saying the same thing is "listen, listen, listen," which we don't do enough. We think we do, but as humans we're more likely to respond than to let the person vent and acknowledge what they're saying.

Don't quickly respond to a complaint with something like, "Well, it's been wet. Don't you know it's been raining?" Those kinds of comebacks just infuriate and fire people up. You've got to listen and acknowledge what they're saying. We like to say, "Gosh, if I had the same circumstances you're dealing with, I'd feel the same way."

#3. Smile—we’re all on stage all the time.  Always maintain positive eye contact.

#4. Employees will treat each other with the same respect and helpfulness as they do the customers. We deal with internal customers—fellow team members, colleagues—as well as external customers. If you're not treating your colleagues with respect and care, you're not likely to treat your external customers any better.

#5. It's each employee's job to create a positive workplace and to practice teamwork.

#6. Each employee will be an ambassador of Spring Grove both at work and away from work. Everyone should strive to create a good image for the cemetery. We certainly want our people saying the same things outside the cemetery as they would on the job.

#7. The employee who receives a customer request owns it and is responsible for taking the necessary action.  We don't mean that the sales counselor who's talked to somebody about a sunken marker needs to put on a pair of jeans and go out and lift the marker back up and level it. We're just saying that counselor is responsible to see that the work gets done and to get back to the family. This way the customer is only dealing with one person.

There isn't that "It isn't my job, I'll send you out to talk to the grounds crew" pass-off.

If Betty Jones receives the request, she gets back to the person within 48 hours—which is what our mission says, that we'll get back to the customer and acknowledge the exact concern. We might not be able to fix it in 48 hours, but we're going to look into the problem and get back to the person, then, in two or three weeks, after the problem is taken care of, Betty Jones will call the family again to know that the work has been done. This is another a way of personalizing service.

#8. Respond to customer requests promptly. There's that 48-hour rule. We want to at least get back to the customer and say, "We got it; we understand. You're absolutely correct; that marker shouldn't have settled. We're going to take care of it. We can't do it right now because the ground is frozen, but it will be done within the next 10 days and we'll call you as soon as we get to that point."

Half the time people just want to know that you got their complaint and you're working on it. There's nothing worse than sending in a complaint and never hearing anything back.

#9. When possible, escort visitors to their destination rather than just giving out directions. Often someone will come in and say he can't remember where Mom's grave is; all he remembers is that it's on a hill. We look it up, of course, but then we don't just say, "Here's a map; I put an X on the map, take this windy road here, turn left, then right……”

We're going to try to either have someone meet him out on the grounds, or better yet, radio someone to escort his car out. An employee will drive out to the site, then get out and help the customer locate the grave and ask if there's anything further he can do to help.

#10. Know basic information such as the cemetery hours of operation without having to look it up. So if you're outside working on a flower bed and somebody stops and asks what time the cemetery closes or how long will the flowers she just placed be left on Mom's grave, you should be able to answer without radioing in for help.

#11. Use proper telephone etiquette.  Ask permission before putting people on hold.

#12. Wear proper uniforms and nametags so that people will know you're staff and can address you by name.

The last three items address the relationship between employees and Spring Grove. These simply recognize that we have responsibilities to our employer as well as to our customers.

#13. Notify your supervisor immediately of any hazards, injuries or equipment needs you may have.

#14. Assume ownership of equipment you use; be responsible for its maintenance and repair.

#15. Take responsibility for protecting the assets and grounds of Spring Grove.

Simple & effective: A mausoleum journal

In our mausoleum, we have a stand where we keep a remembrance book for visitors to write in. Anyone who comes in is welcome to write a note to his or her departed loved one.

This is a very simple idea—you can do it for almost no money, since all you need is a journal-type book and a stand or table—and it's just great.

We have a book similar to a diary, with 365 pages. There's a red ribbon like you might find in a Bible we use to mark the current date. A member of the security staff opens the book to the correct page first thing in the morning.
If you want to bring yourself back to what our business is all about, to understand the power of what we do and the need for sensitivity in dealing with our customers, all you have to do is open that book and start reading. You'll come out of that mausoleum with your eyes filled with tears.

A businessman may stop in on his way to work and write, "Betty, I was thinking about you this morning. I loved our years together and the memories you left me with."

It's amazing the details people will share with the world. They'll write about a special day they shared with the departed, where they went, what they did, how much they enjoyed their time together. It's so touching to see what people are willing to share, knowing that other people may read what they've written.

When we first put the book out there, we kind of had the feeling in the back of our minds, "Oh, this is never going to work. Nobody's going to write in it." But what a hit it's been!

People don't forget those who have gone before—you can see that in what they write. It's been a wonderful way to complement the grieving process.

We know what you're wondering: With something open to the public like that, are kids going to come in and write a bad word on the page? Absolutely not. We've had a journal out there for 10 years and we've never had a problem. Our experience with this has been fabulous.
     --Smitty & Fife

Code: 
A1400

Calming clients in the cemetery and funeral service profession

Date Published: 
January, 2005
Original Author: 
Todd Van Beck
A S Turner and Sons, Decatur, GA
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, January 2005

Dealing with clients who are upset with your funeral home or cemetery is not pleasant, but it is necessary You want upset clients complaining to you, not to everyone else in the community you serve. There are practical ways to head off problems, to diffuse situations when problems do occur and even to learn things from upset clients that will help you improve your company's service to families.
 
Calming upset clients is rarely pleasant, but it must be done. The No.1 reason: Bad information travels faster than good information. If you please someone, that person will tell three people. If you displease someone or if that person is upset, he or she will tell 15 people! What's worse, the one person that upset client probably won't talk to is you.

A recent study showed that 96 percent of business clients don't complain to the business when they have a problem. This means that for every complaint you receive there are 24 unhappy clients.

As you can see from the information box, "Why you lose business," you should be less worried about price competition and more about making sure that families are pleased with the services and products you provide and that they feel they have been treated with courtesy and respect by you and your staff.

The second major reason you must deal with upset clients is that you can learn from them and improve the quality of service you provide to all families. They may clue you in on things that are annoying other clients, who don't speak up, as well, or may alert you to behavior by staff members that you are unaware of and that is irritating clients.

In any case, dealing with a client who is upset will teach you patience, at the least, and doing so successfully will build your confidence.

Why do clients get upset?
Clients can become upset for many potential reasons. Among the most common:
•    Their expectations have not been met.
•    They are already upset with the company and something has happened to set them off.
•    They are tired, stressed, frustrated and in grief.
•    They feel like victims and are suffering from loss of control over their lives.
•    No one will listen to them.
•    They want to feel "right."
•    They have a chip on their shoulder.
•    Someone at your company made them a promise and did not keep it.
•    Someone at your company was rude, indifferent or discourteous.
•    They have received inconsistent messages from your staff members.
•    They acted on information your staff gave them and it turned out to be wrong.
•    They feel that someone in your organization doesn't like them.
•    They were not listened to.
•    They have some sort of prejudice against the way you or your staff members are groomed or dressed.
•    They feel they can manipulate you by making noise.
•    They are suspicious of your organization.
•    They had made incorrect assumptions about your company.
•    They were told by your staff not to be angry.
•    A staff member gave them a smart or flip answer.
•    The person they were talking to at your funeral home or cemetery transferred their call to someone else without first asking their consent.
•    Their phone call was screened.
•    They were embarrassed at doing something wrong.
•    Their honesty or integrity was questioned.
•    Someone at the funeral home or cemetery argued with them.
•    Your staff was unable to handle a situation or question quickly and accurately.

Remember, annoyances that a client usually tolerates become intolerable when that individual is upset. You can't control another person's behavior, but you can change your behavior to avoid causing more annoyances.

Avoidable upsets
First, go back and look at the list of reasons clients get upset. Which ones do you have control over? List those you feel you can at least partially control and note what actions you could take to keep those things from happening.

The annoyances you have some responsibility for causing are:
•    You or someone in your funeral home or cemetery promised something that was not delivered.
•    You or someone in your funeral home or cemetery was indifferent, rude or discourteous.
•    You or someone in your funeral home or cemetery had an unpleasant attitude.
•    No one on your staff listened to the client.
•    Someone told the client they had no right or reason to be angry.
•    Someone gave the client a smart or flip remark.
•    Someone at the funeral home or cemetery embarrassed the client for doing something wrong.
•    Someone at the funeral home or cemetery questioned the client's honesty or integrity.
•    Someone at the funeral home or cemetery argued with the client.

There are many things you can do to avoid turning a dissatisfied client into an angry one through careful attention to your personal presentation and to both your verbal and non-verbal communication.
Personal Presentation. This may seem basic, but you should make sure that you and your employees present a pleasing appearance at all times by running down this simple checklist: good general hygiene, hair clean and well kept, make-up neatly applied, face shaved, breath fresh and clothing pressed.

Non-verbal Communication. The importance of body language has long been recognized. You must give the upset client your full attention in a respectful manner. You and your staff members should assess yourselves (or each other) in the following areas to see where you might improve:

•    Facial expression: Maintain a calm, concerned, sincere and interested expression.
•    Body posture: Remain attentive by standing or sitting up straight.
•    Movement: Clients who are upset want to see appropriate action taking place to solve their problems.
•    Gestures: Do not cross your arms. As awkward as it may feel, hold your arms at your side.
•    Smoking: Even if you are in an area where smoking is allowed, never smoke while you are dealing with an upset client.
•    Chewing gum or eating: Again, never do this when dealing with a person who is upset. The situation could easily escalate so that you are dealing with an extremely irate client.
•    Touching: Avoid touching-it could set off violence.

Verbal Communication. See the table "Words that make a difference" for a list of common mistakes to avoid and suggestions for getting the same point across in a non-confrontational way more likely to move the situation toward a resolution. In addition, remember:

•    Watch your tone of voice. People often respond as much to how something is said as to what is said.
•    Watch out for sighing. This may be your automatic reaction when you are confronted with a difficult situation, but do not do it in front of clients, since it suggests annoyance or impatience.
•    Never curse. Even if the client curses, there is never an excuse for a professional to curse.

Calming upset clients
What do clients who are upset really want? Of course it varies from person to person, from situation to situation. In general, one or several of the following applies. They want:

•    To be taken seriously.
•    To be treated with respect—no condescension or arrogance.
•    To get immediate action—no "next day, next week, next month" stuff.
•    To gain compensation or restitution—they want someone to pay.
•    To have the party who wronged them reprimanded and/or punished—they want corrective action.
•    To clear up whatever caused the problem so it will never happen again.
•    To be listened to. This is the most important thing to remember when you are trying to calm an upset client.

Improving your listening habits
There are a number of behaviors that make people feel their complaint is not being heard. Dr. Lyman K. Steil of St. Paul, Minnesota, compiled a list of trouble spots listed below. Go through this list of troublesome listening habits and the suggested corrections to help you improve your response to people who are complaining or upset:

•    Criticizing the speaker and delivery.  Focus on the client's thoughts and feelings rather than how well he or she is expressing them.
•    Listening only for facts and not feelings. Most people say they are "not" upset, even when they are.
•    Not taking notes or trying to write down everything. Taking brief notes shows interest and covers you later. However, make sure you are not constantly writing and looking at the paper instead of at the person talking.
•    Faking attention. Do not "tune out" the person and think of something else while he or she goes on at length. People don't just want to talk, they want to be heard. Pay close attention so that you will be able to respond properly.
•    Tolerating or creating distractions.  Don't be distracted and don't tolerate distractions. Hold your calls and tell your staff you are not to be disturbed.
•    Tuning out difficult or confusing information. Ask the client to slow down and ask for more details if necessary.
•    Letting emotional words block the message. Ignore name-calling by an irate client.
•    Interrupting or finishing the other person's sentences. This is always an irritant to a person who is upset. Let him tell his story his way.
•    Biases and prejudices. Work on eliminating this.
•    Not facing the person who is upset.  Look the person in the eye.
•    Not checking to make sure you have understood the problem correctly. Repeat back to the person what you have understood the problem to be.

Use verbal cushions
Showing that you empathize with the person who is upset can help the situation. Try saying something like:

•    "I can appreciate what you're saying."
•    "I can understand how you'd feel that way."
•    "I can understand how that would be annoying."
•    "I can see how you would be upset."
•    "I would be upset, too."
•    "It sounds as if we've caused you inconvenience. I'm sorry."

Use the three Fs: feel, felt and found
"I understand how you could feel that way. Others have felt that way too, and then they found that we were able to correct the situation without any difficulty."

Additional ideas to help you stay in control
Remember: Don't take things personally. Keep your focus on gathering information, assessing the situation and coming up with solutions.

•    If you are losing it, excuse yourself for a short time. You could say, "I need to verify some information on this file."
•    Don't cry! Cry later; never cry in front of an upset client.
•    Get the client's attention. If the client is ranting, use his or her name. Most people stop and listen when they hear their name.
•    If the client is obstinate and resisting your suggestions for a solution, ask the client for a solution. "What would you like me to do now?"
•    Using polite repetition, tell them what you can do for them. Repetition helps understanding.

One caveat: We are talking here about people who are upset or angry, perhaps even teary or shouting. But if a client actually threatens violence, seek assistance immediately. You do not have to put up with threats, nor should you.

Debriefing after the client has left
After dealing with an upset client, perform an incident review. This should not be a gossiping session with fellow employees—"You won't believe what I just went through." This isn't about you, it's about improving service to your families.

It's a good idea for staff meetings to include time for sharing staff experiences in dealing with upset clients and what worked and what didn't work. Talk about what else could be tried if a similar situation arises.  In some cases, you may want to discuss whether the cemetery or funeral home should change a policy or procedure to prevent similar problems or misunderstandings in the future.

To prepare for the staff meeting, review the incident and jot down some notes about what happened and how you handled it. Some of the questions you may want to consider:

•    What did I do well in calming this client down?
•    What could I have done sooner or better to calm him down?
•    What did I say that I don't want to say again?
•    How was my body language?
•    What did I learn?

Guidelines for managers
Your goal as manager of the funeral home or cemetery is to create an environment conducive to client satisfaction.

•    Be a role model. Don't expect your staff to use good listening skills and deal empathetically with people if you don't do so yourself.
•    Ask for your staff's suggestions. Talk about how to better serve families at staff meetings.
•    Solicit client feedback. You can send postage-paid return cards or surveys to families after serving them, or solicit the information through telephone calls.
•    Reward good client service behavior.
•    Encourage your staff to use their initiative to solve problems. You have to set limits, of course, but you don't want staff members further angering already upset clients by responding to every problem with an "I can't authorize that" or "I'll have to ask my boss."
•    Don't talk negatively about clients.  This fosters a negative atmosphere; you want to promote a positive approach to dealing with families.
•    Know when to fire a client! If a client continually upsets your staff for trivial reasons, you may need to invite that client to consider another firm. As extreme as this may sound, it is a potential solution. Some families do call a funeral home or cemetery that is not a good match for their needs and desires, and their disappointment ends up being expressed in continual nastiness.

Code: 
A1376
jeffk's picture

Where did customer service go part 2

 

Part 2
 
When he went back inside, they told him that it would be a while before someone could speak with him about the removal and wanted to know if he had all of the signed paperwork regarding the preneed contract for his father because the FSC who will be assigned will not be able to do anything without it. Now, let me get this straight – the front counter receptionist is now telling my grieving father-in-law to sit down and wait and also telling him that nobody will do anything until he produces documents regarding the preneed contract? Am I missing something here? He needs to produce documents that the cemetery has in their possession? How about this for an answer – Sir -  first of all, I would like to express my sympathy for the loss of your father. At this moment, all of our FSC’s are meeting with families at this moment however I will let them know you are out here waiting and we will make sure that someone comes out to meet with you so we can take care of your father. Sir, would it be too much trouble to get your father’s name so I can look up his file? This will help expedite the process so we can attend to your father and finalize what we need to do so we can remove him and bring him here.
 
You would think that the receptionist would be trained as a first call specialist with maybe a one hour grief class and some training on first impression. Not at this location. Later that night, he was finally picked up without having to produce original docs and brought back to the cemetery/funeral home. Unfortunately, he was lying in his bed for approx 12 hours before being removed. There only statement regarding the extended delay was that they were short handed. Come on, at least say it differently. 
 
We attended the Rosary last night for him and all seemed to run smoother. I did however get to physically see the 2 receptionists at their finest. I stood just outside the chapel near the front entrance and just listened to the conversations with other families either on the phone or as they walked in the facility. I can tell you now that my father-in-law was not exaggerating with the attitude. I could not believe what I was hearing from these two ladies. After hanging up with a family, they would comment on how rude the family member was to THEM on the phone. They complained to each other loud enough so that people in the waiting room (btw, a popular place due to allegedly being short staffed) could hear. First impression of our business is who ever the family encounters first people! I just stood there in my suit and listened in amazement knowing that here was the problem that started the problems. Funny thing, as I was standing there, another chapel was being used and a family member walked up to me and asked where the restroom was. I looked at the receptionists who were clearly looking at me to see if I knew where they were. I waited to see if they were going to answer that question for the nice lady and when they did not answer, I told the lady I was not sure, but would walk with her to find it. I guess it is not their job to advise where the restrooms are located.
 
The rosary went smooth and the attendant assigned to our chapel was outstanding. I was so happy with the attendant that I felt as if I should have given him a tip! The only thing wrong with that feeling is that I should have come to just expect good caring customer service from everyone in that facility. Too bad the receptionists actions caused me to feel really good inside when someone just did their job professionally.   More to follow when we have the interment on Friday. For those of you who are doing the math, yes the interment is taking place 8 days after the first call. Another issue.
jeffk's picture

Where did customer service go?

 

Whenever a family member or good friend passes away, it always seems that I am leaned on heavily to make sure the service runs smooth from start to finish.  People just expect that there is a written "professional courtesy" among death care providers.  I have in the past  dropped subtle hints at various funeral homes and cemeteries that are performing services for close friends and family but never in bad taste.  If the family is confused, emotionally drained or simply ignorant I will try to get involved and discuss solutions/options with the FSC or Director.  I personally feel that the funeral home/cemetery operator will feel a little more comfortable dealing with somebody familiar with the process than having to try and explain why something does not look right, feel right or the fear of being taken advantage of (thanks to some rotten apples in our industry and the media) to a grieving family member.  I have never had an issue until yesterday.
 
I was actually attending a funeral for a co-worker on Thursday and the location of the service just happened to be operated by a good friend of mine  who has been involved with the ICCFA for many years.  I placed a call to him just as a heads up and he replied "don't worry about a thing...My staff will make sure that everything runs smooth".  The funny thing is, I was not calling because I had any worries, I was just calling to let him know I would be at his cemetery!  Well, everything went smooth and his staff was as professional as ever...and from what I have heard, this is an everyday experience for anyone having a service at his cemetery.  While I was at the service, my wife called and told me her 97 year old grandfather had just passed away that morning and that she was having difficulty getting the combo cemetery that he had preplanned with to come to the house and pick him up.  I told her that I would try and take care of it via cell phone.  This is where the unnecessary problems started to compound!
 
I called the main number and a not so pleasant person was asking me how I would like my call directed.  It was at this moment I decided not to mention what I do for a living.  My response back to her was that I would like to speak with someone about picking up my grandfather who has passed away at his home which is three miles from your facility and he has preplanned the whole shebang.  Instead of the reply I was expecting which would be something like just a moment sir, I will track someone down who will gladly assist you, I instead received no reply and was immediately transferred to someone’s voice mail. I left a message with ? I don’t know because I couldn’t make out the name on the message header. As the wonderful service ended that I was attending, I spent my 2 hour drive home trying to talk with a live person at the other cemetery. No luck! I asked my wife to have her father drive to the cemetery and make arrangements for his father’s removal in person. He called me from the cemetery (here is the leaning issue from above) and was completely outraged that they would not be able to meet with him until the next morning at precisely 10:30AM. I advised him to go back in and explain that your father is lying in bed deceased and would like someone to at least come and remove the body.

 

The rest will follow shortly

The secrets to lasting success

Date Published: 
July, 2006
Original Author: 
Ed Horn
St. Michael's Cemetery, East Elmhurst, New York
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, July 2006

Great salespeople exceed their quotas, but the irony is they don't do it by pushing the highest-priced services and merchandise. It's when you forget about what's best for your bottom line and concentrate on what's best for the customer that your sales career blossoms and becomes a profession.

When I first began at St. Michael's Cemetery, I was hired as a "memorial counselor." I found the term confusing, since my job was selling; I was expected to meet a monthly sales quota. It was impressed upon me from the very first that if I thought I could depend on at-need sales ... well, there wouldn't be any need for me at St. Michael's.

In addition to learning to sell preneed, I was expected to figure out how to educate clients accustomed to traditional burial options about the benefits of community mausoleums.

Frankly, I saw the job—and the profession—as nothing more than a temporary stopover until something better came along.

The challenge of learning to sell
The manager who interviewed me assured me that under the best of circumstances, I should have no expectation of competing with the cemetery's top salesman, who had been number one in sales for years.

But one good thing about competing with someone who has been successful for a long time is that success often makes people reluctant to change—the "if it's not broken, don't fix it" attitude. But the reality is that absolutely nothing in life (or in what's available after death) stays the same. Refuse to change and the world will run right over you.

It took a few months of learning about the cemetery profession, its “Jargon" and what options St. Michael's offered families before all the pieces fell into place for me. But when the New Year arrived, the race was on.

My first full year as a memorial counselor was exciting. Sales increased from one month to the next as more and more clients sought me out. I was learning what a blessing referrals are. As my temporary job slowly blossomed into a career, I learned more about the keys to success.

1. Concentrate on meeting your clients' needs rather than your sales quotas. I discovered that sales were a byproduct of my true role of understanding what clients were saying. That understanding allowed me to help people make choices based on what they want, not on what would add the most to my commission.

When you develop this type of relationship with clients, you become that no longer mysterious person, the "memorial counselor." Your first obligation is to be a resource to people who have definite and discernable (to those who are listening) desires, but no idea of the options available.

The interesting thing is that once I made this change from being a sales representative to being a counselor, I ended up with record sales. By the end of my first full year, I was number one in sales for that year, with record sales for a St. Michael's counselor. So the rewards for being able to hear what clients wanted were both personally and financially satisfying.

I began to fully embrace and take pride in what was now my chosen profession.

2. Recognize that you're meeting an important human need; be proud of what you do. When I first started working at St. Michael's, I never told people what I did for a living. I found it embarrassing, maybe even morbid.

Once I realized that as a memorial counselor I was serving the needs of the individuals and families who come to St. Michael's, I began proudly announcing my profession.

I remember the first party my wife and I attended after I had this change in attitude.  There were a number of doctors among the guests, and as is typical, the doctors were surrounded by people asking them for answers to medical questions or for informal diagnoses.

Someone asked me what I did and I answered truthfully and with enthusiasm. Did people then shy away from me? To the contrary; as word spread of my occupation, people started coming over to talk to me.

Soon I, too, was attracting an interested crowd of people with questions to ask. Each answer I gave seemed to spark another question. The evening passed very pleasantly, and since that night, my wife and I have never lacked for party invitations.

3. Make community outreach a key part of your sales and marketing efforts. Not long after joining St. Michael's, I was offered the position of sales and marketing manager. I insisted that the position also include the title of director of community affairs.

It was clear to me from working with families that we had to look past our gates if we wanted a healthy future for the cemetery. St. Michael's had to be more than the place where people drop off family members after their lives have ended.

A cemetery is and must always be a place to celebrate life. A cemetery must welcome those who want to maintain a connection with their roots and their loved ones, as well as the greater community.

We offer security and peace to those who seek it, as well as a full slate of events to make the entire community feel welcome at St. Michael's.

4. Never get complacent. During my years at St. Michael's, sales have continued to increase. While this is a good thing, I'm always scared of becoming comfortable and reluctant to change. To my way of thinking, nothing is perfect and everything could be improved upon.

Though I no longer have direct contact with families, I've made sure the salespeople I supervise reflect my beliefs. I try to maintain their competitive edge, while emphasizing that they can expect their compensation to continually increase when they put their clients' needs ahead of their own.

One day I was out on the grounds when I ran into a client who happened to be visiting. He had bought crypt space preneed and preconstruction, based on a drawing. Seeing his mausoleum space for the first time, he was impressed by its beauty, which he said exceeded his expectations, as well by as the overall environment at St. Michael's, which continues to evolve.

After thanking me for helping him select the right memorial property for him, he looked around and said, "I can't wait till I'm here!"

I'm sure he didn't mean to put it quite like that, but it was nevertheless a nice compliment to St. Michael's. To me, it meant that we're doing a great job—but we shouldn't stop trying to do an even better one.

Code: 
A1364

Funeral professionals are in the hospitality business

Date Published: 
January, 2006
Original Author: 
Mark Krause
Krause Funeral Homes & Cremation Service, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, January 2006

SERVICE TO FAMILIES
A funeral home that smells like a bakery?
A tailgate party in the visitation room?
What the heck is going on at Krause Funeral Home?

I knew we needed to go there and I knew others were already doing it, but I was waiting for the time to feel right. Then the 2005 Wirthlin Report, "American Attitudes and Values Affected by Death and Deathcare Services," came out and I knew it was time to go down the path of no return: adding food to the products and services we offer our clients.

Before I present the meal, I want to talk about the recipe. Knowing who we are and what our brand stands for is essential to understanding where we are headed. Every business, whether it's a hamburger stand, a jewelry store, a funeral home or a cemetery, has an image that defines the company and the clientele it wants to attract.

It used to be that strong, safe businesses were in the group between the lowest priced and the service leader. Being in the middle was comfortable for most businesses, but our culture has changed and so has the funeral consumer. What has happened around the country has been a polarization of preference. People either are looking for high value and are willing to pay for what they value—or are price—driven because they do not perceive high value in a service or a commodity.

We need to imagine the possibilities. Many of us have spent a great deal of time over the past few years learning new practices that have been difficult yet ultimately made us better funeral providers. A funeral used to be about picking out a casket and having a service, and at many funeral homes, that is still the case. In today's world, that no longer will make us the funeral home or cemetery of choice.

We need to imagine the possibilities of everyone walking through our doors and being exposed to a whole new type of funeral experience. We need to be so different that it's obvious to people from the minute they walk in our front door they have come to a special place.

From how we answer the phone and greet people at the front door to when we say goodbye with family follow-up, we have the opportunity to create an environment that makes us the compelling choice in our market. I want people to say, "You can go to any funeral home and have a funeral, but if you want it to be special, you need to go to Krause's."

I knew it was time to add food to our services, but I wanted to take what is actually an old idea and offer a new approach, one that would be right for my market.

I know that mixing food and funerals is nothing new. For years, people have had funeral luncheons, often after the burial. But bringing the refreshments into the visitation and funeral experience is long overdue.

Many funeral and cemetery providers have had food facilities, banquet halls and receptions rooms for years. For a number of years some of my colleagues have been incorporating these types of rooms in the design of their funeral homes and cemetery committal chapel buildings. Heck, the church luncheon is as old as America.

If we are to keep memorial services in our facilities and out of the country clubs or hotel banquet facilities, we need to rethink how we present the funeral experience. We need to create special family events that meet the expectations people have today.

Studying the research, then going beyond it
The Wirthlin Report survey found that almost one-half of all consumers were interested in funeral providers offering a reception hall or room, so adding one was a no-brainer.

Wirthlin also found that only 24 percent of consumers were interested in funeral providers offering catered food or beverage services. But my contention is that most people simply haven't experienced how such a service can transform a funeral or visitation—or even an arrangements conference. Once they've experienced the difference, those numbers will go way up.

As I see it, the problem is not that families don't want us to offer catering services, it's that most funeral homes consider providing food and beverages either a pain in their, um, in what they sit on, or they think of it as incidental, not really important to the funeral. But really, what family event doesn't have food as a major focal point?

• We have three locations, so we started by putting a reception room and kitchen into the one that does the least business, so we could learn from it before tackling our busier locations. We visited restaurants, churches, banquet halls, catering companies and hotels for ideas, then turned our casket selection room into a reception room that seats more than 100 people and has a full kitchen adjacent to it.

The room is used for every service at that facility and we are serving more than just coffee and soft drinks at least 45 percent of the time. We use caterers to provide and serve the refreshments. MKJ Marketing created a brochure for us that spells out all the options and includes photos, providing families with information in an appealing format.

• The fact that we don't have a reception room yet at our busiest location led to the idea of serving refreshments in the visitation rooms. Funny, the only people who don't care for this idea are some of the older funeral directors. The families like it.

• The next brainstorm was to offer fresh-baked refreshments in our arrangements conferences. We had a funeral director's assistant, a retired minister who was always baking things at home and bringing them in for the staff. Now we pay him to get in early and bake enough "goodies" for all three of our locations.

I want people to understand how food will enhance the funeral experience, and the process of educating them begins with the arrangement. People who walk into our funeral home immediately notice the wonderful aroma of fresh-baked goods.

Our goal is to create an exceptional and meaningful experience, and that means we must embrace all of the elements the hospitality business considers mandatory. Truth be known, we are in the hospitality business. We need to revisit how we walk, how we talk, how we look and how we think.

What does the Krause Funeral Home brand stand for? It stands for the very finest in staff, facilities, service, compassion and maybe your favorite food.

I have no doubt that some funeral professionals think having a staff member bake fresh "goodies" every day and setting up dessert bars or tailgate parties in the visitation room are sacrilegious or demeaning to funeral service.  That's OK-I like it when my competition thinks that way!

AN INTERVIEW WITH MARK KRAUSE
by ICCFA Magazine Editor Susan Loving

What did he do with the caskets? Where did he find caterers?
How has he kept the staff from getting fat eating all those fresh-baked goodies?

Getting into the funeral food service business
 
How did you choose which facility to put the reception room in?
We chose our Brown Deer Road location in Milwaukee because it's the least busy and we want to go to school on the concept. It will handle about 120 calls in 2005. We do plan on putting them in all three. It's a matter of saving up enough money to do it, and deciding what works well and what we want to do differently with the next one.

Our New Berlin location will handle close to 300 calls in 2005, and our West Capital Drive location in Milwaukee will handle about 755. Adding food service there will be a challenge, but it was thinking about that that generated the idea of serving food right in the visitation room. We've tried doing that, and it almost works out better than using the reception room.

People don't know what to expect when they come to the funeral home, other than seeing the body, and they're uncomfortable with that. Bringing in picture boards made it better, and then videos, and we have Oliver the grief therapy dog (see the March-April 2005 ICFM). And now food. It changes the tenor of the visitation or funeral.

In the Milwaukee area, we have 65 to 70 percent of our funerals in the evening, which is more consumer friendly. Who can get off from work to go to funerals these days? So when people are coming to a visitation, followed by a funeral, during the dinner hour, why not serve them little sandwiches, or desserts? It helps create a warm, sharing atmosphere.

In the case of cremation, where the committal service is delayed a few days because of the cremation, what do you do when you have people at the funeral home and there won't be the traditional after-committal luncheon? Why not have food at the funeral home?

Do you think you have to have a certain size business in order to offer food service?
Oh, gosh, no. And there are lots of guys doing this sort of thing already. People have had luncheon rooms at funeral homes at many places for many years. What we're seeing now is the snowball effect.

And we need to offer people food service not just after a funeral service or the burial. We offer food during the visitation, or even catered at their home. We'll set it all up for you.

We get in this paradigm where food always has to be after the funeral. Why not do it during the visitation? People tend to socialize over food at family events. How often are hors d'eouvres or snacks put out for people to nibble on while they talk? It helps to induce conversation and create a relaxed atmosphere.

This past weekend we served four different families, and all four of them had food and the dog. So between having to deal with all the food issues, which are huge, and then the dog issues, it's a lot of work.

Isn't Oliver trained not to beg for food?
He's a good dog; he's just distracted around all that food. He has certain issues that are non-negotiable, and the food one is pretty close. We use the commands and he leaves the food alone, but you can tell he's distracted.

My family's been in the funeral business 70 years, and we've figured that one out pretty well. Now we're in this whole other business that we've been in for about six months, and every day is a new adventure. One of the issues that came up recently Is how do we give families the leftovers to take home in a better, more attractive way. It's going to cost us to upgrade that.

Where do you get your food service equipment?
We get plates and silverware from a restaurant supply company that is very willing to work with us. Choosing equipment has been another learning curve, though. For example, how do you offer coffee in the visiting room so that the presentation is nice? Do you have the industrial coffeemaker, or do you get something that's appealing to look at?

Our first coffee set looks like a thermos with a lever on top. You do see them at a lot of nice hotels, but I think we need to go to the next level. I'd like to see something more silvery, dressy.

We need to offer service so compellingly different that the family's going to choose us instead of going to the country club or the church reception hall. And we have to be reasonably priced. What is it going to cost per plate? How much do we need to charge for the room and cleanup? Again, it's a learning curve.

Do families want tablecloths? If so, do you charge extra for that? That whole area is extremely expensive. We researched it and found that a lot of restaurants don't use tablecloths. We made the tables so they're nice enough without linens. But some families want tablecloths, and we will provide them for an extra charge.

We can create whatever kind of reception the family wants. It's the same as with wedding receptions—you can spend a little or a lot.

Another issue is quantity, how much food do you want? We tell people about how many hors d'eourves they'll get for a certain amount of money, but we don't know how much Uncle Joe who weighs 400 pounds is going to eat, so the family has to gauge that. Some families nibble, others will eat the last thing in the pan.
 
In order to offer this service, you got rid of your casket selection room. What did you do with the inventory, which I assume included more than caskets?
The caskets we stored and then sold, so we gained $40,000 to $50,000 from selling off that inventory, which helped pay for the cost of remodeling the room. We have the casket selection explained in books, and eventually I think we'll move that onto computers. Books or computers are what preneed salespeople use offsite anyway.

Have people complained about not being able to touch or see the caskets?
You know, as funeral directors we assume that's going to be an issue for families, but the reality is that so far, it hasn't been.

And funeral service is changing from its old focus on the casket. As the focus shifts to other things such as videos of the person's life, and sharing food, the casket becomes just another piece of the puzzle rather than the focal point of the funeral experience.

We moved the urns, register books and other small items into the arrangement rooms. We've also taken all the products and services that we present in our Remembrance Book and pictured them in collage-type posters we have on the walls. It's a low-pressure way to let people know what we offer. People notice things on a poster and say, "Tell me more about the candlelight service."

You also provide refreshments to all families during the arrangements conference. How does that work?
We have a retired minister who works for us as a funeral directors' assistant. He bakes as a hobby and was always bringing in goodies for the staff, so that got us to thinking. Instead of just offering people cookies during arrangements, why not take it up a level and offer home-baked goods? That would be more memorable.

So now we pay him to bake. He spends two to three hours every morning in the funeral home kitchen. The funeral home smells like a bakery—the aroma permeates the whole place. At first, I was kind of concerned about that, but it's been positive. It helps people relax. The women will usually comment on it—their eyes light up when they notice the aroma.

We bring in a tray of warm bars, cookies, little cupcakes—whatever he's baked that day. They look appealing, they smell appealing. Engaging all the senses makes an experience memorable. People only know what they see, feel, touch. We pack up the leftovers, plus some extra, for them to take home.

Our other funeral homes are about a 15 to 20 minute drive away, and he makes enough to take there, as well.

Your staff must like having all this home baked food around.
We used to bake hot cookies all the time, but we had funeral directors who would take the tray of leftovers to their desks, so we stopped for awhile. With the new system, I've told my staff we're not buying new uniforms if they gain weight and can't fit into their old ones! They haven't so far. And no one's allowed to sneak food to Oliver.

Who prepares the food for the luncheons?
Caterers, and dealing with them has been another learning process. You hear of one that does a good job, so you start working with them and you see what they do and don't do well.

We found one that provided good food at a good price, but with service that was a little wanting. We've tried a high-end caterer that gave us outstanding service, but they were expensive, and the food was so-so.

We've decided we need an assortment of caterers so that we can match what they do to what the family's looking for. Some families want a buffet with barbecued chicken and mashed potatoes; others want a sit-down dinner with tuxedoed waiters.

We have three or four caterers we're using right now, and I think we'll always be searching for new ones, because as we continue to do this, our expectations are going to rise. First of all, we're going to have a better idea of what our clients need and want. And we'll simply be more experienced at handling it.

Right now, our clients seem very surprised—pleasantly surprised—that we will do this at all, especially during the visitation.

What about people who want to bring in their own food, or want to bring in part of the food?
If people order some catered food and also bring some of their own, maybe a special dish, that's fine. If they want to bring all the food themselves, there is a room charge. Right now, it's very nominal because we're trying to change the culture. We want to encourage people to use our facility, not give them a reason to go somewhere else.

I don't think you should discourage people from bringing in their own food, because really our main product is the funeral and the celebrating of the life.

The food is one of those "extras." It does differentiate us and adds to the experience at our funeral home. And it's also enough of a pain that a lot of funeral homes just aren't going to do it, so it maybe gives people another compelling reason to choose us.

What have you learned in the first few months of offering food service?
I've learned that you have to have a lot of vision. You have to work with a lot of different caterers.  And you have to really spend time with your staff and be hands-on trying to make it happen, because your typical funeral director will say, "This is waiting on people, it's not what I do." Well, actually, it is what you do, it's just thinking about it in a different way, and it is a lot of hard work.

Explaining food service options is different from explaining caskets, and the presentation is key. We had to come up with a whole new training model for our staff, and a whole new brochure, the "menu" that MKJ developed for me.

The menu brochure looks very appetizing; all the pictures are totally geared toward women. Ask a man for some potato chips and he'll rip open the bag and hand it to you, but a woman will put the chips in a bowl so they'll look nice. It all comes down to presentation. You want something memorable, not something that will make people say, "Let's do this at the country club next time."

This doesn't mean we can't have informal gatherings such as picnics at the funeral home. We had one this past weekend. The family had the Wisconsin Badgers football game playing on our big-screen TV. The casket was there, the big-screen TV and lots of food was available. It was like a little tailgate party—it was nice.

Code: 
A1358

Why competition is good for funeral homes, cemeteries and their customers

Date Published: 
March, 2006
Original Author: 
Don Price
Greenwood Cemetery, City of Orlando, Orlando, Florida
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, March-April 2006

Ever wish the competition would just disappear?
Well, it's not going to happen, and that's OK, says this municipal cemetery manager, because families like having choices. He suggests you learn to thrive on competition rather than trying to eliminate it.

Sometimes competition seems to bring out the worst in both people and companies, but what is our goal in the cemetery and funeral service profession? Is it to steer families to buy the products and services that will help us and our companies, or is it to help families and give them the options that will better serve them?

I like to believe I'm here to serve families. And believe it or not, families that have been treated in a way that serves their best interests rather than yours are more likely to return and reuse your service-whatever the cost-when the next time of need arises.

Badmouthing others is bad for everyone
Last weekend a family called me to ask about the availability of infant spaces at our cemetery. I told them Greenwood has plenty of spaces in our babyland section and said if they wanted me to, I could meet them later in the afternoon to show them the burial options. Naturally, in true dedicated cemeterian fashion, I didn't mention that when their call came I was on the lake fishing and answering it lost me one of the biggest catches of the morning.

I cleaned up and met the couple at the cemetery. Now, since Greenwood is a stand-alone cemetery and not a combo operation, I deal mainly with land purchases and opening and closing charges. The couple said they had been to a funeral home to make arrangements, and when they asked about getting space at Greenwood, the funeral director was adamant that we were sold out! He urged them to consider another cemetery. I was not surprised, when the couple told me which cemetery he had suggested, that it's one owned by the same company that owns the funeral home.

So here was a family distraught over the loss of an infant being told a "tall tale" by the funeral director. They were furious over the time they ended up wasting checking on cemetery availability because of what they viewed as games being played by a funeral director they had assumed was there to help them in their time of need by looking after their best interests. Do you think what this funeral director did will generate any future business for his firm?

When I contacted the funeral director to ask why he tried to keep the family from looking at Greenwood, his response was, "I lost a 3 percent commission on the cemetery sale." Let's see, using my admittedly very Southern math, his commission on what would have been about a $500 land sale would have been around $15.

If it were me, I would much rather have the family happy with my service and open to coming back to my funeral home in the future than to pocket the $15, make them mad and have them bad-mouthing me all over town.

In another case, a funeral director (one I had recommended) told a family a simple concrete burial container would not meet our requirements and that they had to buy a special vault, at an additional cost to them of several hundred dollars. When the family mentioned this at the burial, I was speechless.

I hate to compare our profession to car sales, but I think it's interesting that car dealerships have found that they are more successful when they all operate in a geographically concentrated area and let the merchandise speak for itself.

In most cities, the dealers locate next to and/or across the street from their competitors. This allows shoppers to easily compare vehicles and make an informed decision based on their needs, desires and budgets. Most of us leave our house with a certain make and model in mind but want to shop around and feel comfortable with our decision about this major purchase.

Bringing the concept back to our profession, funeral service guru Todd Van Beck talks about getting his first job at Heafey & Heafey on Omaha, Nebraska's "mortuary row," where there were 10 funeral homes in a 12-block area, so the idea isn't foreign to funeral service.

Instead of badmouthing the competition, concentrate on highlighting the best of what you offer families. Every funeral home and cemetery offers something unique and different to enhance its service. Some might offer night and weekend services, others a fancy hearse; some give back generously to the community; some showcase their facilities through tours and open houses.

Knocking the competition in an attempt to close a sale simply puts the entire profession in a bad light, and as families become more educated about our profession (something that is getting easier to do in this Internet age) and make their own comparisons, they are left with a bad taste in their mouths if they have been misled.

Our cemetery is one of the only ones left in the area that allows upright memorials. Some families come to us for this reason, while others couldn't care less about having this option.

Our cemetery encompasses over 100 acres and bellows Southern charm, with huge trees hung with Spanish moss and acres of old monuments. Some families prefer a small cemetery, or one with highly manicured lawns.

Our cemetery sits in the heart of downtown Orlando. Some families do not want to fight the traffic to get to the cemetery and would rather have their loved ones interred closer to their neighborhood.

Do any of these reasons for a family not choosing Greenwood bother me? Not one iota. In fact, if you visit our cemetery, I have brochures and business cards from my competitors, both corporate and independent, displayed in the front office.

I am confident that Greenwood offers a unique and special burial place that many families will willingly choose. I would much rather have a family make an informed decision to use Greenwood than "settle" because they felt they had no choice. A family that freely chooses your funeral home or cemetery tends to be a more understanding client in those cases when things don't go exactly as planned.

Get to know the competition
When we offer the public fun and educational programs, I extend an offer to my competition to attend. Why? Maybe they can learn something that will enhance the level of service they offer their families. And why not let them know firsthand what we are doing? If they don't know, they might make it up, so why not make sure they have the straight story?

Our municipal cemetery averages about 12 burials a week and has no preneed or telemarketing sales program. We do no print advertising. Everybody who walks through our gates wants to be here, has family here or has gotten a recommendation to use us from someone else.

In October, our local newspaper ran a story announcing the opening of 220 new spaces at Greenwood. They sold out in six hours. The demand for these spaces was humbling. There are cemeteries in the area that offer extended payment plans, insurance assignments, free coffee and a good looking office staff. We offered a very simple financial plan—one payment, no interest—and still families were lined up to buy.

What you offer to families year round is what entices them to your funeral home or cemetery, not what the glossy new ad states on Sunday. Sure, some families are drawn to your location due to slick advertising, but wouldn't your bottom line be better off if it were based on return business generated by how well you meet your families' needs?

Embrace the competition, show off your accomplishments and make decisions that enhance your level of service. Speak with your competitors; get to know them. Sell yourself and your business—don't knock the competition. Strive to create new and exciting programs; be a leader in your community. Offer programs designed to educate families so they can decide what they want, not to maneuver them into making the purchases you want.

These are the things families will remember.

Code: 
A1348

What Cremation Consumers Want

Date Published: 
May, 2006
Original Author: 
Doug Gober
York Merchandising Systems, Kenner, Louisiana
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, May 2006

Are we too "bound to the body"? It's time for funeral professionals to deal with families in a new way, or we won't be the ones planning the meaningful funerals and memorial services of tomorrow.

The custom of burial has a long history in North America. Ancient Native American burial grounds provide evidence of that. Yet in the past 50 years, our society has undergone major changes in its death care rituals, and people are moving from traditional burial to the alternative of cremation. People are rejecting the standard burial formula in such great numbers that if there were another alternative besides cremation; that might be the direction in which they would be going.

As cemetery and funeral service professionals, we need to look back at history to discover what it is that people want and figure out how we can best meet their needs.

Anti-cremation tactics backfired
A few years ago, Batesville came out with a program called "Options," based on the premise that cremation families have more choices and flexibility than families choosing traditional burial. Many of us used the "options" idea to try to dissuade people from choosing cremation, but we greatly misjudged our customers.

Instead of scaring people off, the idea of greater choice selection was embraced. Suddenly, the unthinkable happened. God-fearing burial families began to be seduced over to the "dark side" of cremation.

Instead of facing this new challenge and catering to families' needs, we tried to teach them a way to not want it. Many of us accomplished this temporarily by hiding the urns where no one would see them, in that familiar dark, smoked-glass container in the corner of the arrangement space.
That attempt not only was a colossal failure, but also prevented us from keeping up with the consumers who are now demanding more than many of us can now offer.

The reason for this switch in consumer mindset from traditional burials to alternative services is not hard to understand. People view cremation and memorial services as the Burger King, "have it your way" offer, providing them the flexibility to have the service exactly the way they want it.

People choose cremation because it just happens to be the option that allows them to put together a meaningful service their own way. A memorial service is more adaptable than a funeral service because it does not necessarily have to be sad or religious, nor does it have to follow the well-worn path.

The challenge for us as a burial community is that we are so bound to the body, and so anxious to get it into the ground within 48 hours, that we do not allow enough time for putting together the service. It takes time to organize a memorable funeral service, yet we are too bound to time and to the body to make it happen.

When Coretta Scott King died, her funeral was not two days later, it was nine days later; After President Reagan's death, his body was flown across the country and laid in state before he was buried.

Take the example of a friend of mine named Calvin, whose brother, Steve, died at 48. Steve's memorial service was held in a bar and restaurant in Franklin, Virginia, on a Monday night. There were 250 townspeople there.

Above the buffet was a PowerPoint display with a rolling pictorial of Steve's life. At the other end of the bar a screen and PowerPoint projector were set up for Calvin to tell his brother's story. No one who attended that memorial service left without knowing who Steve was.

One of the people there was a local funeral director, "Barky." After the service, Barky said to Calvin, "I've had no less than 20 people from this town come up to me and say, 'This is what I want when it’s my time to go."

"What's wrong with that?" Calvin asked him. Barky looked him square in the eye and said, "But I can't do this." And he was right.

Many of you who attend conventions are already offering these types of services, but the challenge is getting the message to the people in our profession who are not, because they reflect on our businesses and pull us down with them.

Funeral and cemetery professionals aren't "typical" in today's society
One of the major hurdles for today's cemetery and funeral service professionals involves relating to people who are completely different from us demographically. There are several factors causing people to reject traditional burial. Our society is a very mobile one and, in general, is becoming less and less affiliated with religion and the societal boundaries and rituals that go along with it. Marriages between people of different faiths and blended households created by remarriage bring up other issues. These trends are not slowing down, so it is important to face the challenges they bring rather than to ignore them.

Society is moving and changing all around us, but we are not going anywhere. We keep things exactly as they have been for generations because that is what we know. Many funeral service professionals who have been at the same location for generations have trouble relating to cremation families, to people who have changed jobs several times and moved across the country.

Because we are living in direct contrast to the way our customer base is, it is very difficult for us to give up our traditions and adapt to change. But we need to keep in mind that we are the exception rather than the norm in society, and trying to resist inevitable changes will only hurt our businesses in the long run.

Thus far, many of us have managed to compensate through our excellent communication skills. We can easily talk people into choosing the service we want them to choose. But not everyone on your staff has equal communication skills, nor do they have the same vested interest you have in your business succeeding. We need to face the issue head on and move forward as a profession.

Suppliers need to change, too
Suppliers are also contributing to the problem. Instead of adjusting their sales methodology to modern times, they continue to sell the same way they have throughout history. The same merchandise available to a burial family does not necessarily apply to a cremation family, yet suppliers have not made enough effort to adapt to changes in the marketplace.

The practice of selling merchandise by what it is made of rather than what it looks like is a case in point. The major challenge for suppliers is to learn to merchandise their products differently. Via Spiga, which historically bought its shoes from Mexico, recently began buying shoes from China as well. The shoe from China costs $3 to manufacture, the shoe from Mexico costs $10. But instead of pricing the shoes to reflect the cost of manufacturing and materials, Via Spiga bases prices completely on looks. The $3 shoe sells for dramatically more than the $10 one, and the resulting profits suggest this is the right decision.

We need to take a major step in changing our sales methodology so that our pricing reflects more than the raw product. It also needs to reflect the value perceived by the consumer.

We also should be more aware of the people we are serving. Just because families choose cremation does not mean they want to know about the details involved in the process. Some of you who offer windows where people can peek through and watch the cremation may be surprised to learn that not everyone wants to see it. This is not to suggest that having such a window is a bad idea, but that you need to be attentive to your customers' individual needs.

When we think of cremation, we think of decreasing profits, yet many of us put very little effort into selling to cremation families. It is important to make families aware of all options regarding final placement and to encourage them to purchase urns.

Unlike caskets, which are 100 percent lift (every burial family buys one), urns are completely optional. By providing cremation families with temporary urns, we are even encouraging them to walk out without buying anything.

We cannot afford to sit back and do nothing while the cremation trend continues to increase. Learning more about our customers and what they want is the first step to increasing our sales and profits.

Before we can begin to increase sales, we need to stop our tendency to equate cremation with burial, with disposition. Our profession has distorted this notion so badly that it seems almost impossible to undo. When faced with cremation, we think of final placement as an afterthought. When cremation becomes the alternative to burial, final placement falls right off the page.

Our challenge is to change our perception of cremation and look at it not as an alternative to burial, but as an alternative to embalming. Cremation is simply the preparation and it is the final placement on which we should be placing more focus. When we start seeing and believing in the value of final placement following cremation that is when we start selling more urns and achieve a higher lift on related products.

We are still not focused enough on final placement, and some of us may not even be involved in the memorial service. You should have seen Barky in Franklin, Virginia, when we changed his world overnight. Things will never be the same for him.

What cremation families want
The short answer to the question of what cremation families really want is "just what everybody else wants." They want less contact with salespeople. When a salesperson walks up to someone at the mall and asks, "Can I help you?" the customer inevitably says, "No thanks; I'm just looking." What he or she means is, "Leave me alone. Some smart guy set this store up in such a way that I can find it on my own. If I need your help, I'm glad to know that you're available, but I don't need you following me around the store."

Yet as soon as people cross the threshold of our funeral homes, we try to sit them down and make them use our age-old selling process, one that people in focus groups consistently reject, comparing it to a timeshare sales pitch.

Today, "personal service" no longer means "one-on-one service." People now consider it to mean being free to browse on their own, able to control the pace and momentum of the entire transaction.

Just like everyone else, cremation families want more meaning, more flexibility, more individuality and value for their money.

But the more in-depth answer to the question of what cremation families want is still to be determined. We need to discover the answer before we get further behind than we already are.

As a profession, as individuals and as leaders in our profession, we need to stop trying to convince people to accept what we want and focus on learning what they're looking for. We need to do this ourselves and more important, we need to spread the message to our colleagues who don't attend conventions. 
 
This article compiled from an address presented by the author at the 2006 ICFA Annual Convention

Code: 
A1327

Becoming a Consumer Resource

Date Published: 
May, 2006
Original Author: 
Rick Rega
Woodruff Family Services, McMurray, Pennsylvania
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, May 2006

I worked closely with an attorney in our area; when we had a need for attorney services, I knew who to call. We had a great relationship, and I knew the family would get his utmost attention. He truly wanted to serve families, as we like to do.

About six years ago, he and I talked about how great it would be if we could put together under one roof all the professionals we deal with who talk about end of-life planning or events. That's not going to happen soon, but wouldn't it be nice to put together an organization that could do the same thing?

What we've done is put together a group called Life Service Providers. Our focus is not "senior consumer" but "adult consumer." We want to look at the adult consumer, maybe someone 40 years old who has an elderly parent who needs nursing home care and they don't know how to find a good one. Or they have a disabled child who needs 16 hours of care in their home. Where do they go for that resource?

Our group works with people to ensure that questions regarding life care planning and services are answered by qualified professionals. What this type of group does is make you, as a participating company, a resource that goes beyond your service offering.

If I have a family who comes in and says, "Dad died. Mother's house is in total disarray; she has some organizing issues."

I can pick up the directory we have in a binder at all our funeral homes and say, "Please call Nancy at Your Personal Organizer. Nancy will take care of it—she'll go above and beyond."

The family gets great service and calls us back.

We've created a number of categories, including:

•    Financial services—we have bank trust officers;
•    Investment companies—we have three investment professionals;
•    Legal—we have four attorneys, two who deal with estates and wills and two who are elder law specialists;
•    Funeral planning/memorials—that's us;
•    Insurance—they can help with medical, long-term care, the new prescription drug plans;
•    Real estate services; and
•    Grief support—two clergypersons.

A lot of groundwork went into this.

 

This article compiled from an address presented by the author at the 2006 ICFA Annual Convention

Code: 
A1323

Top 10 Cemetery Best Practices

Date Published: 
May, 2006
Original Author: 
Patrick Monroe
Rose Hills Memorial Park, Whittier, California
Original Publication: 
ICFM Magazine, May 2006

You need good employees, of course, but to make everything work right, you also need formal business processes, policies, procedures and automation.

 

I’m not going to tell you how to run your cemetery; I'm simply going to describe 10 "best practices" based on what we're doing at Rose Hills. It's up to you to decide whether they would work for your organization.

How do you determine something is a "best practice"? We use five criteria:

1. Does it do something for the customer? Does it improve the delivery of products or services for your families?

2. Does it benefit your company? Does this practice help you become more profitable, reduce costs or increase safety?

3. Does it benefit the employee? Does it increase employee morale, or foster teamwork and buy-in?

4. Does it also improve the community?

5. Does it raise the bar for the entire profession and make funeral and cemetery services that much more relevant to consumers?

The Rose Hills Top 10

10. Have in place a good performance management system. You can't hit the target if you don't know what you're aiming at. A good system becomes an effective tool for communicating with your employees.

The system we've been using is built around the job position profile, which is different from a job description.

A job description basically lays out what a job is; the education requirements for it and so forth.

A job profile has three key items: the parts of the job, the standards for doing it and SMART goals. Have you ever heard anyone say, "In my job I wear many hats?" When you're creating a job profile, you're listing those "job hats."

At Rose Hills, the members of my operation team all have very similar job parts, such as operating within budget, or delivering customer service at levels we set for ourselves. Also, all managers and supervisors are expected to always have their safety hat on, so there is a risk management job part.

Leadership is also a major component of their jobs, so we need to identify what good leadership looks like. For instance, are we communicating effectively with our team and our staff?

All our managers at Rose Hills have a human resources development component to their jobs, meaning they're expected to train and grow and nurture their employees.

And lastly, our managers and supervisors have a personal development aspect to their jobs. We expect people to participate in events such as ICFA training, evening classes, the Chamber of Commerce—something outside of work to develop their skills.

Each of these job parts has what we call a job standard. For business management, it might be something like: "Performance is satisfactory when all planned projects are completed on time and on budget. Performance is satisfactory when targeted customer service goals are achieved or exceeded."

Each job part has one or more related job standards, and these typically don't change from year to year. If you're in the same job, what's expected of you doesn't change from year to year.

However, certain job standards will have what we call SMART goals—specific, measurable, attainable, results-oriented and time-specific.

For example, let's say you have a person whose job standard is, "Performance is satisfactory when all assigned projects are completed on time and on budget." That job standard will be the same, whether it's 2006, 2007 or 2008. But the SMART goal for 2006 might be, ''Project X will be completed within budget by June 30, 2006." You want to be able to know whether the goal has been achieved or not.

9. Institute written policies and procedures. Most of our employees really want accountability and standards, and I think written procedures are the way to get there.

There are many advantages to written procedures. They provide some consistency in how the job gets done. They are objective and results-oriented. And they provide a mechanism for constructive feedback and corrective action, and for performance reviews.

There are five key elements we embed in all our procedures:

• Define the job in terms of what success in this job looks like.

• Describe the process step by step.

• List the skills and talents required to do the job.

• Name the specific safety standards associated with that job.

• Include productivity standards.

Having written policies and procedures can also help you in other ways, such as being able to share them with other departments. A couple of weeks ago, we did a presentation for 200 of our preneed counselors about our interment process, and we shared our procedures. The more our employees know about what other departments are doing, the better, and having written policies and procedures makes it very easy to share this information.

Also, we have the policies and procedures for our subcontractors and vendors. We want to make sure they know what our safety rules are, and we expect them to follow our park etiquette standards. Our contractors sign off on that, and we expect them to follow through, or they're not coming back.

8. Keep a focus on career development. You want to hire and recruit, train and retain the best quality people you can, so it's not just a human resources department function, it's an operational management and leadership function to focus on career development.

Examine the diagram at the top of this page. Someone with a low skill level and a very high challenge is going to feel anxiety because he or she can't do the job right. Someone with a very high skill level and a low-level challenge could be bored.

We don't want our employees to be in a state of either anxiety or boredom; we want them "in the zone," where their skill level and job challenge are well matched. Managers need to work with employees and understand where their zone is, and create a career path and career opportunities to keep them in it.

It's difficult to orchestrate opportunities, but it's important. In the past, a new person would come to work at Rose Hills, go through training and rotate through jobs, but not really have a career path.

That wasn't working, so we came up with something new. We developed a career path for all employees based on skill acquisitions. As people acquire skills and experience, they are automatically promoted to another level and have an opportunity to increase their compensation. Our employees are so much more valuable to our organization as they grow those skills. We meet with each person on a quarterly basis and analyze their career development plan to make sure they're progressing.

7. Develop a vehicle, equipment and facilities maintenance program. We have formal written maintenance programs in place. With 100+ vehicles in our fleet, we maintain written records of everything done to each vehicle.

We have five working chapels on our property, and 500,000 people visit them each and every year. It's critical that those facilities look as good as they can. People are forming impressions about Rose Hills, and funeral and burial ceremonies, when they enter our property.

We do a weekly inspection of all our public facilities, everything from the speakers to the AV equipment. We check the restrooms to make sure the toilet dispensers and the faucets are working.

Don't forget your employee work areas. You can tell the quality of an organization by looking behind the scenes. It's important that your employees' work areas are safe and neat and well maintained.

6. Conduct internal inspections and quality control and compliance audits. At Rose Hills, our parent company does annual inspections. Someone comes in unannounced and looks at all our procedures and safety compliance and writes a report. We also have somebody on staff who does this. Not every organization is going to have a staff person who can do this, but if you don't, maybe you can subcontract it out.

5. Fully disclose the nature of services before you render them. We all know about the waivers, disclosure forms, at-need and preneed contracts, general price lists. What I've found is that you have to have these things, but most people don't read them. We try to focus on informal methods of communicating the important things.

Avoid industry speak. Nothing drives me crazy more than hearing somebody say, "I'm looking at Mrs. Smith on her ROC”—using terms that clients don't understand.

Brochures, handouts and web sites are obviously great tools to inform people about the business, but nothing replaces good, strong product knowledge and training for your people.

Also, we're beginning to leverage other influencers in the process-clergy, senior associations, leaders and so forth. Get these people involved, and sometimes they can be your best advocate and explain things to families.

4. Have a good system for resolving customer dissatisfaction. Do you have systems in place that resolve customer dissatisfaction? Statistics tell us that every person who has a problem with a company tells 10 other people—the worst type of advertising.

The most important thing is to address the issue immediately. Customer service issues are not like fine wine; they do not age well. We want our staff to address problems with the family immediately, since that's the best bet for restoring the customer's confidence.

Make sure you listen and get the whole picture before acting. Don't start trying to solve a problem before you've got all the facts. And don't blame others. I had a situation not too long ago where one of our supervisors was solving a customer service problem and said, "Well, the preneed person should never have told you that." That didn't give the customer a lot of confidence in our organization.

Separate the objective problems from the subjective. An objective problem, for example, is a cracked marker, a scratched casket or dead flowers. In those cases, you know what you have to do: give a refund or replace the product.

The bottom line is, do the right thing. I can't tell you how many times we've won the battle but lost the war with customer service. A family has 10 spaces, and we're fighting them over $100 worth of flowers. To try to avoid this, we tell staff, "If you make a decision favoring the customer, you're not going to get into trouble if you err too much on their side."

Of course not everyone who has a problem is going to tell us about it, so we use customer surveys. We ask the family, "Would you recommend us?" We want the answer to be "yes" at least 98 percent of the time.

3. Leverage technology. Walk around the convention this week. It blows you away how much more technology is in our industry than there was five years ago. Make your web site as useful as possible. We do $10,000 a month in flower sales for grave placement, and the family finds the online shop a great tool—they don't have to drive all the way out in L.A. traffic to put flowers on the grave.

We're beginning to use document imaging technology to replace a lot of the old manual recordkeeping. And we're using a park data resource system involving little handheld laptops so our staff can provide information to families in the field.

2. Know thy customer. This needs to be the mindset of all your operational managers. Cemetery master planning, facilities design—everything needs to be built around what you know about your customers.

We know where all our property owners live. We can graph our property owner distribution by zip code. More important than demographic information is psychographic information, which deals with people's attitudes, beliefs, religious preferences and lifestyle. You can do focus groups, survey your families and talk to your employees to get this type of information.

We also need to consider all the people involved in the funeral and cemetery decision process. This includes not only the buyers but also the initiators, who gather information; the deciders; and the influencers, such as clergy and hospice.

All customers have both articulated and unarticulated needs. If customers are telling you what they want and you're meeting their needs, you're not getting any bonus points, because that's what they expect. That's the basic level of service. Pleasant surprises you offer a family—"Wow, I didn't know you did that"—get you bonus points.

1. Put safety first. We've got to have a razor-sharp focus on safety through three different lenses:

• Safeguard the deceased, from the removal to the time the casket is lowered or the deceased is transferred to the crematory. If you have subcontractors, are you inspecting them?

• Safeguard your employees. OSHA requires safety procedures, and we don't view that as a burden. You want your employees to be safe, and they want to see that you care about their safety. We do a lot of safety training.

• Safeguard your visitors. You need to go around you, pack and look for anything that could endanger visitors. Is there a slipping hazard somewhere? Is that construction project properly marked with signs and cordoned off'?
 
Most of the things on this list are not quick and easy. They take hard work, but I can tell you from personal experience that they pay huge dividends. It's a lot easier to grow weeds than it is to grow grass. These things are going to help you grow grass

 

This article compiled from an address presented by the author at the 2006 ICFA Annual Convention

Code: 
A1321