Author's note: This is the second in a series of reviews of recently published business and marketing books. I am not rating each book as good or bad; rather, I am offering an overview of the book's topic and then pulling out one lesson or principle to discuss more in-depth.

The New Rules of Marketing & PR (Second Edition) by David Meerman Scott turns everything I learned in my college PR classes on its head. Twenty-some-odd years ago, we focused on controlled, one-way corporate communications. With today's 24-hour news cycle and the prevalence of social media, that model no longer exists.

In many ways, we no longer own our companies' messages. We certainly no longer control them. Control has been transferred to the media (including both traditional media and new outlets such as blogs and Twitter feeds) and to the consumer. The result? Today's marketing and public relations is all about performance, about giving the customer a positive experience that they can blog, tweet or post on their Facebook page.

The Buyer Persona

One area Scott discusses that has particular relevance to cemeteries and funeral homes is the importance of creating and addressing different "buyer personas" through your online marketing.

Is your Web site a one-size-fits-all brochure? Most are, but according to Scott, this is a missed opportunity. You have different target audiences, and your Web site should make it easy for each of those audiences to find the information they need.

You have both preneed prospects and at-need families visiting your site. You have older customers researching options for themselves and younger people trying to help their parents or grandparents. You have customers who want full-body burial and those who want cremation. You have genealogists, people whose loved ones are buried at your cemetery, mortuary students conducting research, local media and so forth. Each of these groups, these personas, are looking for different information. Or in some cases, they may be looking for much the same information but they need to be provided it in a different way, with different language and a different focus. These groups also research their interests in different ways; for example, they search online using different key words.

The key to making sure each of these personas finds you and has a positive experience with you is to tailor different portions of your website (and your extended web presence) based on each of their needs, desires and tendencies. As with all new marketing, it is not about you, it is about your customer.

Author's note: I have recently acquired a nice stack of marketing and business books with the intention of reviewing them here on a semi-regular basis. I will not rate each book as good or bad; rather, I intend to give an overview of what the reader will find and then pull out one lesson or principle to discuss more in-depth.

For the first installment, I've selected Guy Kawasaki's "Enchantment." The timing is no coincidence, as Guy is speaking on this very topic at our Annual Convention next week and part of my job as director of communications is to promote the heck out of that event. (That's what is known as "immediate and complete disclosure" and can be found on page 30 in the book in a section on "How to Achieve Trustworthiness." Guy would be proud, I'm sure.) "Enchantment" will not be in stores until March 8--which BTW is just in time for Guy's book sale and signing at the Convention!--but Guy was kind enough to send me a preview copy. And so, without further ado:

In "Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions," Guy Kawasaki offers us advice on how to enchant others--customers, prospects, employees, bosses and anyone whose hearts, minds or actions we may wish to change. From simple advice on how to smile and dress to complex explanations of how to make the best use of push and pull technologies, the book offers dozens of practical ideas on how individuals and companies can become more enchanting.

At the end of each chapter are personal stories of enchantment from everyday people. From the honeymooner who was enchanted by above-and-beyond service at a Disney hotel to the skeptic who was enchanted by a church service to a store manager who was enchanted by a dedicated temp, these stories show that anyone, anywhere, anytime can make a real difference and a lasting impression.

Overcoming Resistance by Finding a Way to Agree

One example of how to enchant others is to "Find a Way to Agree." This technique is particularly important, according to Kawasaki, when we face resistance. Finding a way to agree makes us more likeable and it gives us a foothold, however small, from which we can build a relationship. Kawasaki offers five methods for finding a way to agree that are particularly useful for those attempting a sale or other negotiation:

• Get personal. Learn about your prospect's interests and hobbies. What do you have in common?
• Get professional. Same principle. Research your prospect's work history and business network. What skills, experience or business associates do you have in common?
• Harmonize objections. Someone says your prices are too high? Explain how your firm offers a better value and more services than the low-cost provider down the street.
• Ask "What if ...?" Be flexible, or at least explore how your prospect's opinion might differ if you could change something. The prospect doesn't want "a lot of fuss"? What if ... we hold a simple service followed by coffee and finger foods right here in our hospitality lounge?
• Move the window. This is based on the Overton theory, which holds that there is a political "window," or range of policies, people will accept: unthinkable/radical/acceptable/sensible/popular. So if you start out proposing something unthinkable, something previously deemed radical might become acceptable. Perhaps the proposal to construct an individual mausoleum is beyond your prospect's means and desires, but introducing that option might make a family burial estate seem entirely reasonable. You've moved the prospect's window.

Finding ways to agree is just one of many methods for enchantment found in the book. In a profession such as cemetery and funeral service, where building rapport and relationships is so important, Kawasaki's advice points the way toward genuine, powerful, enduring connections.

We all like to feel as though we make a difference in our careers. For most of you, I imagine you do feel that way. The core purpose of your profession is to care for the dead and those who grieve their loss. Of course you make a difference.

As an association staffer, my sense of purpose is, shall we say, somewhat less obvious. At the core of my profession is the facilitation of education and networking, helping people "associate" with one another.

It's an honorable career, for sure, but it's hardly the same as being a firefighter or soldier or teacher or preacher or cemeterian or funeral director. Every once in a while, I have that crisis of conscience where I look in the mirror and ask myself, "Is this it? Is this all you're going to do with your time and talents? Don't you want to make a difference?"

But then I meet someone like Norm Connors.

Norm is a funeral director and certified celebrant at Bean Funeral Homes & Cremation in Reading, Pennsylvania, and is a member of the ICCFA's Next Generation Steering Committee. I hung out with Norm last month in San Antonio at the NextGen Happy Hour. I was there to -- you guessed it -- facilitate networking. I introduced Norm to a few ICCFA newbies, and as is often the case with him, the conversation soon turned to the ICCFA University.

Norm attended the University in 2008 and 2009 and never misses an opportunity to share his enthusiasm for the program with any ICCFA member who will listen. "It changed my life," he told these new folks. "I've been to it twice, and both times, I've come out a different person. I am definitely going back this year."

Norm credited ICCFAU not only with helping him better perform his job, but with giving him a whole new perspective on his life, a whole new sense of purpose. He credited ICCFAU for a dramatic loss of weight two years ago, for a new self-image and, yes, for a new passion for funeral service.

I was gratified to hear Norm's story, and I wasn't entirely surprised. He's not the first person who has used the term "life changing" to describe his University experience.

There's also Ron Nestor, who five years ago, as a freshman at ICCFAU, was a grounds maintenance worker but who today is a career cemetery grounds manager, a member of the Massachusetts Cemetery Association's board of directors and a newly designated Certified Cemetery Executive.

And there's Allen Dave, who seven years ago was fresh out of mortuary school and new to funeral service after a successful career in the wedding industry. Today, Allen owns a successful Houston-area funeral home and cremation tribute center and is himself teaching at the University, sharing his lessons learned through wedding planning.

There are others, too. Each year, the evaluation sheets tell the story: "I am returning to my job with a new sense of purpose and responsibility." "When I feel tired from long hours, I will use the memories of this time to motivate me to give more to the families we serve." "I feel as though I finally have the tools I need."

More than any educational program we hold here at the ICCFA, the University makes that kind of a difference. It changes lives. If you want to deepen your knowledge and understanding of this profession, or know someone on your staff who is ready to make a stronger commitment to their career, I urge you to do something with that potential! There is no better investment than in ourselves and in our people, and the University is a worthwhile investment indeed.

Registration is now open for the 2010 session of ICCFAU, July 23-28 at the University of Memphis. You can check out the full program schedule and register at www.iccfa.com/education-events/iccfa-university/iccfa-university.

Don't wait. Do it today. You'll thank yourself on July 28.

We are at the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Convention. Great group of people.

Here are ICCFA's Linda B. and Julie B.

Our booth neighbors, Dan and Anita