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sloving's picture

Rockin' Out at the ICCFA Convention

ICCFA 2011 Convention speaker Juliet Funt, who talked about the importance of "white space" (unscheduled time) and how to get more of it in your life, ended her fun and informative presentation with a short "anthem," with the help of ICCFA members Mark Krause and Doug Gober (on loan from the Cryptones), Mike Hays and Nicole Weideman.

The audience loved it, and so will you. It's a 2-minute picker-upper (click on the pic to listen):

The lyrics:

Every day of my life there’s more to achieve,
A sense of urgency that just won’t leave,
I try to do my best,
But they put me to the test,
...It’s the Culture of Insatiability on me,
But I’m singin’ a different tune now listen to me- I’m freed!

Singin’
I can let it go,
The pressure and the stress and the crazy rat race,
I can let it go,
So come and grab a little white space with me.

It’s noble work to counsel the bereaved,
The satisfaction’s not be believed.
But then the florist’s late,
And the grandson get irate,
It’s the little things that make me anxious and distressed,
Even Todd Van Beck would be a mess- unless, he sang,

I can let it go,
The pressure and the stress and the crazy rat race,
I can let it go,
So come and grab a little white space with me.

I can let it go,
The pressure and the stress and the crazy rat race,
I can let it go,
So come and grab a little white space with me.

 

rob treadway's picture

'Night, All

And now for one last session at the dining room table .... I am, finally, going to kill off my very long-held ICCFA email address in a few hours. It will be weird, because I have been “joeb” - @iccfa.com and @icfa.org before that - for almost 15 years. This event is what actually occasioned writing this last blog post. An email address really becomes a marker of identity in the modern age. For those of you who want to stay in touch and don't already know: I do write elsewhere on the Web. Unfortunately, I can't really link to any of that stuff because it is at best irrelevant and often inappropriate, sometimes wildly so, for this corporate forum; but if you do a search on my name you will find you can hardly swing a dead cat on the Internet without hitting something I've spouted off ridiculously about.

When I began working here I was a far bigger idiot than one might expect at 29 years old. This sad fact can probably be traced to developmental issues such as having my first beer at the age of 10 - I recall my grandmother telling my parents “he has to learn to hold his liquor someday” and let me just say, America in 1970: Was this a great country or what? Anyway, as far as I can tell I got hired on the basis of my body of work as a “freelance writer” which, I believe, will be included in the 2012 edition of Roget's as an accepted synonym for “waiter.” Quite fortunately, I also had a hobby of working with those newfangled devices known as “desktop computers” of which the first one had recently landed in the association's offices. Always having a keen survival instinct, I quickly figured out the practical definition of “indispensability” with regard to the office environment. I can recall my first boss here telling me “no one is indispensable” and thinking to myself “except for the only guy who knows how everything works.” Twenty-one years later, after numerous downsizings, I am here to tell you I was right.

 

One potential career option is “writer” and Joe is shown here brushing up on the finer points of that lifestyle.

One potential career option is “writer” and Joe is shown here brushing up on the finer points of that lifestyle.

But, alas, that which ensures survival does not always bring us happiness. Becoming Mr. Fixit had its downsides, such as the many occasions I was greeted with “I know you don't want to hear this first thing in the morning, but ...” and then being told what was broken. If you, the reader, can only take away one lesson from my entire career with this association, let it be that, by definition, the phrase “I know you don't want to hear this first thing in the morning” should never be spoken out loud. The reason is that if you actually happen to “know” there is a certain fact that someone indeed does not “want to hear” upon arrival at the office, then you should not state that fact because all it will accomplish is to make the person wonder about your entering the afterlife sooner rather than later. If the network is down, for instance, all you need to say is “the network is down” or, if you are in the mood for embellishment, you can say “You know what really sucks about today? The network is down.” This will put everyone on the same page and eliminate the need for metaphysical contemplation before the first cup of coffee.

Even though I once fancied myself a man of letters, technology has played a pivotal role in the various phases of my life. I am sure many of you could say the same thing. For example, just this morning I realized I had lost my copy of The Everlasting Man, which annoyed the heck out of me because I have something like 50,000 books here and the prospect of re-purchasing one I already supposedly own does not enchant me. Within two minutes, though, I found there is a text version on the Internet which I downloaded to my Blackberry and can now read while standing in line at the supermarket. How unbelievably cool is that? From irritated to pleased in 120 seconds or less: If the machines indeed are destined to control us, then I for one welcome our new mechanical overlords.

I would recount all the things I have learned since I started working for ACA/ICFA/ICCFA, but the list would be so long that you would stop reading as soon as you saw the size of it; so it would be more efficient to simply note the things I already knew in January of 1990, and you can surmise that everything else came during this job. When I got hired here, I knew:

  • how to cook, drive and read;
  • how to write sentences using unnecessary words one does not quite know the meaning of;
  • that “bodily function” jokes truly are not funny;
  • that one could wear bright blue socks and a red tie to a business meeting;
  • that standing at a podium in a room full of people evokes the exact same emotional reaction as standing in front of a firing squad; and
  • that one should never mix romance with one's place of employment.

Obviously, to develop fully as a professional I needed to unlearn certain things and learn a whole bunch of others, although I am proud to say my sense of humor has not changed one iota over the years.

 

The one in the middle had just celebrated her third birthday when Joe had his first interview with the ACA.

The one in the middle had just celebrated her third birthday when Joe had his first interview with the ACA.

 

A downside of extreme tenure is that the number of people I would want to thank publicly is too large to thank publicly. I can't list all the friends because there are so many. From the committees to the conference programs and all of you whom I've met at the events … just reminiscing about the office holders would be a long post in itself. Although 21 years is considered a single generation in people years it is actually precisely three generations in association years. (There is a metaphor in there somewhere but I am not going to dig it out because you never know where those things are going to lead.) Entire waves of leadership at all levels have come and gone.

I do need to make a few short acknowledgements for some recent events and some in the distant past. My friend Nancy Lohman compiled the most incredible collection of letters to me from people all around our industry. It is one of the highlights of my time here but also of my life in general. Paul Elvig spent hours pulling photographs from his extensive personal catalogue and getting them printed off, and Ernie Heffner and Mark Krause spread the word about the project and helped collect the submissions. The book was handed to me right before the Christmas break and I still can't get over it. Thanks to all of you who were involved. In the coming months I will be in touch with those I have not corresponded with already.

ICCFA President Kevin Daniels has handled this entire situation better than I could have possibly scripted it. For all of the business elements of the separation it has been friendly and without drama, and personally Kevin has been wonderful. I deeply appreciate that my career here was able to end with such a fond farewell, including the Board resolution and magazine coverage.

Those with whom we stand when staring oblivion in the face are those with whom the bonds will never be broken. We've been through some changes in this association over the past 10-15 years, many of them hard. We've been to the edge of the abyss and back more than once. Major programs had to be resuscitated. That we were able to revive the Sales Conference and the Convention is a testament to the creativity and intelligence of our committee members and leaders, and also a tribute to a group of paid staff who stayed engaged and were willing to go beyond their comfort zones to make something new happen.

Discussions at association conferences were often of an intensive and strategic nature.

Discussions at association conferences were often of an intensive and strategic nature.

 

Laboring for survival is noble but also pretty thankless in the grand scheme of things. So to my fellow employees let me say thank you once again. I especially want to mention those who worked closely with me on so many projects over the past decade: Nadira, Linda B., Sheila, Karen and Susan. You all deserve more credit and certainly more money. You all made the toughest times manageable. Of course, I also need to thank my brother-in-arms, Bob Fells, for his friendship and collegiality. When the “power-sharing” arrangement was proposed to us that morning almost eleven years ago, the entire discussion of how it would work began and concluded that same morning. We went forward and never looked back, and never had a single dispute over who calls which particular shots. Not one single impasse, stand-off or need for outside adjudication.

 

Last photo from the last event - a good group to remember it all by.

Last photo from the last event - a good group to remember it all by.

 

Going back a little further, I must acknowledge and thank my original mentor here, Steve Morgan. It would be hard to find two people with more different personality types than Steve and I, but we shared an abiding concern for the welfare of the association and a keen interest in the practical steps required to bring a project from conception to fruition. During the relatively brief time we worked together he taught me more about how the organization functions than I would have figured out for myself. And in case you were wondering if the fact that I worked here for almost 14 years after Steve left makes me feel old, the answer would be “yes.”

During a lunch of chipotle duck confit along the San Antonio Riverwalk, the so-called “mallard incident” occurred. Visibly shaken, Joe returned to the hotel and stated simply “things will be different now.” Some believe his career crisis was set in motion

During a lunch of chipotle duck confit along the San Antonio Riverwalk, the so-called “mallard incident” occurred. Visibly shaken, Joe returned to the hotel and stated simply “things will be different now.”

 

Regrets? Of course I have regrets. There have been management issues over the years that could have been handled better. Isn't it interesting how certain basic rules like “honesty is the best policy,” which at times seem to scream out to be bent in the business environment - for the greater good, of course - turn out to be so very, simply, true, after some situation that you cleverly tried to “finesse” comes back and bites you in the backside? There were times when a few frank, though hurtful, words at the outset could have eliminated so much confusion and futzing around later on. Then there were stretches of time where I should have paid more attention to the activity around me than to my tasks at hand: We had good people leave because of my tunnel vision and had the opposite, equally negative thing happen for the same reason. My first few hires were stupendously lucky, giving me a false sense of security which would be revealed in time.

There are a few pieces of unfinished business that still bugged me when I decided to leave. This Web site, for one. Don't get me wrong: There is a lot to like about iccfa.com and it was an honor to have my own blog hosted in the same general vicinity as that of my friend Todd Van Beck, who truly is a master of this medium (and I don't mean just in our industry, but in the entire blogging universe). But I was never able to get this site further than 70 percent completed in terms of functionality, and less than 50 percent in total content, before reality intruded, we had to cut expenses and it was time to switch hats once again. That was a disappointment. Yet in the grand scheme of things and the global economic meltdown who among us can claim to be above the shared sacrifice and privation?

To my countrymen, I say: You're welcome.

After much pleading with the leadership, he was permitted to lounge around the accounting office for several hours each day.

After much pleading with the leadership, he was permitted to lounge around the accounting office for several hours each day.

 

Now that things seem to be turning around financially, there should come a time when the staff can dedicate resources to strategic expansion of the association's Web presence. All kidding aside, that is going to be a key part of the future, even in this industry.

Some people have been asking me if I know what I will be doing next. The short answer is “no” because I need to take a few weeks off to get the full unemployment experience. There is, after all, more to life than money. Then, as my checking account balance starts to dip, I expect my perspective will shift ever so slightly toward recognizing the hypothetical importance of money, followed by reaching that inevitable point of desperation when I realize that “there is more to life than money” only for “those who have a lot of money.”

I have to navigate a number of possible career path forks, including in this industry vs. outside the industry; executive management vs. a more specific focus like marketing, IT or communications; accounting/finance management vs. lying down in a pile of broken glass; and possibly even self-employment if I can think of an appropriate niche. I have done, literally, every single job at this association except for government relations, which is one thing I have done a lot of in my personal life as a certified troublemaker, so I do have firm ideas about what constitutes good work in non-profit management, and what merits punishment according to the Code of Hammurabi. But I will do some reading and writing to get my head clear and decide what comes next.

The most amazing aspect of working for this organization has been the sheer amount of labor people are willing to perform to move everything forward. In my final address to the staff I compared it to the adage that according to the laws of physics a bumblebee supposedly should not be able to fly. With an employee count that has fluctuated between 12 and 18 (with my absence, currently at 13), the association should not be able to accomplish all that it does. What makes it happen are a number of extremely bright and dedicated volunteers, and employees willing to leave blood on the tracks for modest compensation. Because of the effort needed to put on an association program it has been my philosophy “why bother doing it if you are not going to change your audience's lives?” Those on the front lines can look at what they do with ICCFA and know that it makes a positive difference in the world. That is the sole reason so many of us stayed involved for so long.

Changing the world, one miniature Snickers bar at a time.

Changing the world, one miniature Snickers bar at a time.

 

I consider so many of you lifelong friends and I know we'll be seeing each other again, albeit not working side by side on the association's business. The plus side of finality is it freezes the picture so we can see the whole piece. Having become something of a student of the ICCFA's history, I have enormous respect for the work and ideas of the previous century; in this stage comprised of the last two decades we, together, continued the progress and expanded the concept. The memories carry me from Indianapolis to Orlando to Cincinnati, from Denver to San Antonio, from Dallas to New Orleans to Las Vegas, from San Diego to Houston, from Marrakesh to Maui, from Greeley to Memphis, from Pittsburgh to Key West, from College Park to Cleopatra's Barge and from Falls Church to Sterling. I treasure it all and I will miss all of you.

Dear Leader has been most beneficent to us. Dear Leader has our gratitude, always.

Dear Leader has been most beneficent to us. Dear Leader has our gratitude, always.

rob treadway's picture

Matt Grieco "Dancing With Our Stars" Charity Fundraiser Event

Linda and I took a little detour tonight to Longwood Gardens and what did we find but good friend Matt Grieco, on the dance floor, bringing it to the house.

[UPDATE: A much better quality version is now up on Matt's Facebook page.]

Matt Grieco "Dancing With Our Stars" Charity Fundraiser Event from Joe Budzinski on Vimeo.

rob treadway's picture

ICCFA 2010 Annual Convention "The Next Step" Overview

A video look back at the 2010 ICCFA Convention:

2010 ICCFA Convention Highlights from Linda Budzinski on Vimeo.

Todd Van Beck's picture

The ICCFA survey

As usual the powers to be within the leadership of ICCFA have done it again as far as being on the cutting edge of what is going on out in the real world of funeral and cemetery vocations.  A new survey (available only to those who attended the recent convention in San Antonio) popped up on my computer and I have to say that I was, for what this is worth, mighty impressed, and indeed fascinated with the results and information. It was like reading a moral treatise which has the outcome of making the comfortable uncomfortable and making the uncomfortable comfortable.

I have always been suspicious of surveys of most any kind.  I had a sociology professor in college who convinced me that when I looked at all surveys I should first and foremost see who paid to have the survey done in the first place.  I have actually found this pretty good advice over the years.  For instance, from what I can detect, every survey that law enforcement departments commission almost always concludes that crime is on the increase.  

Most every survey taken concerning the status of education concludes that we are not doing enough, not enough money is being spent, and that the system is in deplorable condition.  I mean my professor was of the thinking that if the education surveys reported that we were doing more than enough for students, that we had all the money we needed, and that representatives from other developed countries were scrambling to see how we did it – the obvious questions would be asked by somebody “Why does the school system need all this money?”  

Because of the influence of my professor I have become cautious and cynical about surveys, and in the past I have rolled my eyes and shook my head in disbelief with some of the surveys I have read and digested concerning this profession.  No need to elaborate on those historic events, but I need to say that of all the surveys I have read concerning funeral service, in the end and up to now, only the Wirthlin studies, of which there have been several editions, have captivated my attention and altered the materials that I have included in my seminars. Some of the Wirthlin conclusions were not pleasant – for instance the survey’s conclusion that the average American person does not see a distinct difference between a cemeterian and a funeral director – Lord knows that one stung when I read it.

To this day I know friends who will not believe or accept that conclusion from the Wirthlin study.  Who knows the final truth, but I concluded that this one particular piece of information was indeed accurate about cemeterians and funeral directors, even though I had to endure and process some mighty significant ego bruising along the way, but that is another story.

Now ICCFA has stepped up in a big way and commissioned a study, the results of which were shared this week to people who had attended the recent convention in San Antonio.

Before I get into some observations I need to again say that this survey is not final word concerning funeral service and cemetery work, I don’t believe such a source of final information even exits.  However what struck me as attractive was that while this survey was indeed sponsored by a funeral, cremation, and cemetery association it did not candy coat some glaring realities about how Edith and Archie Bunker are looking at our world.  I believe it would have been might easy for the powers to be at the ICCFA headquarters to censor some of the results, it would have probably been much easier politically for them to be sure, for I have seen that done before and because of the censorship was deluded into thinking here and there that some privately selected funeral “fact” which was published in a survey ended up not being a fact at all which messed up my thinking and truth awareness about how things were truly in the real world.  No examples of this are necessary; we, or most of us, have been there and experienced the consequences of being out of step with what the community knows, expects, and wants from a funeral home and/or cemetery.  Being out of step is no fun.

I applaud the courage of ICCFA to publish this survey as the results came in to them.  Some of the results were good news, and other results indicated that some trends that you and I have accepted as gospel truth, as to being where the future lies, and has taken on a life of their own is not necessarily true, and in some instances far, far, far off the mark.

For thirty years I have known that funeral service and cemetery work has been and is changing.  However I also knew and experienced that the banking world went from human tellers to robots tellers in parking lots, to men and women of integrity to men and women in the penitentiary.  I also know that Hospice work went from all volunteer people, fulfilling a calling, to today professional marketers wining and dining people in the medical profession in order to get their business of dying people.  Yes indeedy I don’t need a survey to tell me things have changed.

Any survey that concludes and states that things are changing is to me humdrum, but this survey added some tidbits which I found changed my attitudes and also affirmed some long held beliefs about my beloved profession.  Here is an example.

This blog is not intended to let the cat out of the bag concerning the contents of the entire survey results, but a few carrots I believe is in order and will be approved of.  The first carrot concerning the survey is the verifiable truth that the environmental stuff has power, it has substance and it is what much of the public is looking for.  Never mind that when I was a college student in 196_ the famed ecologist Dr. Paul Ehrlich came to town and said that for our environment to return to what we had just 50 years earlier (which at that time would have been 1919) it would take us 500 years to accomplish, never mind that.  The good ecologist might be wrong, he was wrong about other things, but what matters today is that Archie and Edith Bunker are interested in the environment and if they have lived with this interest and conviction for their lifetime they are going to march right into the funeral home or cemetery office with such an attitude.  I don’t know if “green burials” will be the answer, but certainly it seems to me that wicker coffins are something to look at seriously.  The survey is packed with golden nuggets like this one.

The survey covers many important issues such as the power of word of mouth (does that really still matter?), the attitudes of people towards the death of a pet, the presence of religious activities at the time of funerals/cremations/dispositions, is preneed really as important a movement as we think it is or is it not? And a bunch of other eye openers.  It was a good read.

I can say this, the content of my writings and seminars will be altered because of my acceptance and belief in the integrity of this survey.  It seems to this old undertaker that the author of this work and ICCFA are telling it like it is.  Good stuff.  

TVB

rob treadway's picture

Cryptones at the Wide World of Sales

The Cryptones wowed 'em again, this time at the Wide World of Sales Conference opening reception in New Orleans. It was a great conference kick-off and very amazing considering they only had three days of practice.

YouTube is having some kind of problem - it is taking forever to upload video and then when it plays it keeps stopping and starting, like it can't buffer fast enough. So I am going to post them on my Vimeo account and see if that works here.

Here's the first one to try, the unplugged version of Layla. If it works I will post the rest once they are uploaded.

Actually, in case I don't get around to updating this post right away, if you are interested go to the Vimeo site by clicking here, and type "cryptones" in the Search box at top right. Our Cryptones videos start on the second page.

Cryptones perform at ICCFA Wide World of Sales, January 13, 2010 - Layla from Joe Budzinski on Vimeo.

Here is Mike Burke showing his Memphis roots in Whipping Post.

Cryptones perform at ICCFA Wide World of Sales, January 13, 2010 - Whipping Post from Joe Budzinski on Vimeo.

This was a surprise - Brenda Ayala-Figueruelo, Family Service Coordinator for Serenity Meadows in Riverdale, FL, took lead vocals for an impromptu version of Dreams. Not too bad considering the Cryptones had never practiced the song and never met Brenda before this!

Cryptones perform at ICCFA Wide World of Sales, January 13, 2010 - Dreams from Joe Budzinski on Vimeo.

rob treadway's picture

ICCFA in Boston

It was a great though somewhat exhausting time exhibiting at the NFDA Convention in Boston this week. The turnout in the Expo Hall was terrific - we got to meet a ton of new people - and the NFDA staff and officers I met were extremely gracious and welcoming.

Special thanks to my booth-mates Julie Burn (ICCFA Director of Cremation Services), Nancy Lohman (ICCFA VP and 2010 Convention Program Chair), Fred Lappin (ICCFA VP) and Alan MacKinnon (longtime ICCFA friend and ICCFAU graduate). It was a wonderful team effort all three days.

Traffic at our booth was almost nonstop. Above are Nancy Lohman (r) and Paula Staab Polk, who is chairing the Event Planning track of The Next Step program.

Nancy with PLPA Chair Coleen Ellis (heading up the PLPA Conference being held in conjunction with The Next Step program)

Julie Burn with ICCFA member Richard Tetrick, President of Tetrick Funeral and Cremation Services.

We gained a lot of new friends and acquaintances among the attendees and exhibitors which was wonderful, and I also appear to have gained a broken toe which was slightly less wonderful and hampered my mobility the final day - however I did get out this morning to walk around the block of my hotel. Above is the Old South Meeting House, where Benjamin Franklin was baptized and where the Boston Tea Party plot was hatched. Seems like an appopriate image for the current era for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.

 

 

This is the gravestone of Mary Goose, died 1690, erroneously called the true "Mother Goose."

And with the click of a button, voila, each day of my trip is now fully tax deductible.

Tomb of Paul Revere in the Granary Burying Yard. Very cool.

Now to quickly pack and leave for the airport. Each time I exhibit at one of these trade shows I gain a newfound respect for our exhibitors and all they go through. It would be hard to do this as a career.

rob treadway's picture

Wreath-Laying Ceremony at Tomb of the Unknowns

ICCFA Fall Management Conference participants attended a wreath laying ceremony as part of today's tour of Arlington National Cemetery.

(Fall Conference sponsored by Matthews International Corporation - thanks, Matthews!)

ICCFA President Gregg Williamson and President-elect Kevin Daniels represented the association. We also saw the tail end of the changing of the guard - the whole thing was very moving.

The video below (from the back row) captures a bit of the sense of the event (direct YouTube link here).

Todd Van Beck's picture

A House Divided Against Itself

I went to a meeting the other evening concerning our profession.  It does not matter whether the group was composed of cemeterians or funeral directors, not in the least – or it should not matter, anyway, not these days with what is going on out in the death care world.

The basic meeting agenda which was printed on nice paper was a supposedly devoted to a discussion about the rapid changes in the demographics, the market, the buying habits of consumers, and the like.  I thought the agenda looked really good, and was anticipating learning some additional information concerning what the hell is going on out there.  I guess everyone attending had the same idea – at the beginning of the meeting anyway.

Present at the meeting were a few personalities whose histories preceded them as being touchy, moody, and at times argumentative and confrontational.  Out of thirty people this small group represented maybe three. 

I thought that time was of the essence because there was one invited speaker who really knows her stuff, and I was looking forward to listening to her presentation.  In her talk she made natural and predictable references to different groups which make up our profession.  I thought her remarks both well thought out and timely.  However in referring to different “groups” in the death care profession a fuse was ignited with some of the “touchy” group and off they went.

I have been to meetings, too many meetings over my career, where the results of the meeting ends up being a witch hunt aimed at portions of our profession who are not even at these meetings.  You know what I am talking about.

The “touchy” group began ranting and raving about ancient, and I mean ancient history, concerning the long time biases and simmering anger that certain groups have towards one another in the death care profession.  I heard absolutely nothing new; I had and have been listening to these types of divided diatribes for years, and in time several of the other attendees just started to roll their eye balls in disgust and frustration, because it was the same old stuff.  You know the routine – this group is errorless and clean and saintly, and this other group who is not in the room is foul, corrupt, egomaniacs, and control freaks. 

I drove home that night feeling a pit in the center of my stomach.  I thought “have we made such little progress at finding our unity within our diversity?”  Yes, there is the idea – finding unifying ground within the diversity of all the groups which today make up the death care profession.  Boundaries and territories seem clearly evident to be evaporating before our eyes – why?  Because the public is demanding that the boundaries and territories which have caused such acrimony and dislike in the past go away – now!

I remember when I read the first Wirthlin Study and saw the information which, in a nut shell, said that the American public really does not see any difference between a cemeterian and a funeral director.  I was dumbfounded I could not believe it, but then when the second Wirthin Study came out it said the same thing.

The fracturing of any professional group into splinter groups rarely, except for social reasons and purposes, works very well.  It doesn’t work well because of scant resources, repetition of services, and the like.  However it seems clear that within the death care profession there are splintering groups all over the place, and make no mistake, there are consequences for this division of the house.

I gave a major talk one time which got me into a whole lot of trouble.  I stood up in front of a group of death care professionals and said publically the radical thought that we need to unify, we need a type of a Moses figure who can bring the groups together into one strong organization which has great resources pertaining to people, money, talents, vision and action.

In this talk I asked this question “Who speaks for death care?”  Not who speaks for cemeteries, or funeral homes, or preneed programs, or grief counseling, or monuments, or ground maintenance, or insurance programs, or any of the traditional splinter groups, but who speaks for death care overall?

We all know that lawyers basically do not like each other – that is common knowledge, but you would never ever know it by the work and activities of the American Bar Association.  The lawyers might fight and scratch each other’s eyes out in the real world, but when they need to stand up together as a unified group there is one organization which represents them, and the American Bar Association does have power and resources. Can you even imagine how far the Federal Trade Commission would get if they tried to implement the “the Lawyers Rule” to regulate the lawyers in this country?  Enough said on that point.

What a mess the medical profession is in.  The problems of health care make our problems look like kindergarten stuff.  However the physicians of this country, while certainly in turmoil, are represented by the American Medical Association, and when the AMA says something even the President of the United States listens.  One organization, representing the myriad of levels of medical practice in this country, and it works exceptionally well.

Everybody knows that drinking too much milk or eating too much red meat is not good for you – everybody knows that – but according to the American Dairy Association, drinking milk is not only good for you it is sexy – “Got Milk?”  Do I even need to identify which association developed the national branding of “What’s for dinner?”  Red meat might not be good for you, but you would never know it from the work of the American Beef Association.

Here is a fantastic vision.  What could be the possibilities available to the entire death care profession if all the major organizations, while maintaining their own autonomy, just pooled enough money without regard for being in total absolute control of everything and took that impressive amount of cash and hired a posh Fifth Avenue advertising company in Manhattan and developed a national, country-wide advertising campaign around the themes that what the cemeteries, funeral homes, preneed programs, etc. do for the community is good and right and brings tremendous benefits to all communities, and run that commercial as many times as the American Dairy Association runs “Got Milk” and do not stop.  Make the ad part of the American popular culture.  Here is an idea – make death care work popular and interesting to the public.

Here is even a more crazy and nutty vision.  What would be the potentials, the possibilities, and opportunities, and the results for the future of this great line of work if the major organizations and associations amalgamated together?  Standing together as one voice representing the entire world of death care as does the AMA or the American Bar Association?  What might just be the results?   The closest thing I have seen in this direction is the open membership policy of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association, but can more pioneering work at finding this unity in our diversity be done?  I say let the thing be pressed.

Driving home that evening I was sad.  We are still battling the same old ghosts of ancient days long gone by.  As I climbed into bed I thought that if I wrote this I would again get in trouble, I would certainly be offending somebody’s territory or boundary.  I thought is it even worth the effort of taking this position?  I know I would probably have a better chance at changing the financial structure of China than calling for unity within the diversity of the death care profession, but I think it is worth the risk, so here is the call.

I know we have come a long way at working for cooperation and common ground and the work continues, and I am going to ask the indulgence of the reader to balance what I am saying with what I experienced at that terribly disappointing meeting, but I have had this unification, amalgamation feeling and idea for a long time now, and thought it just might be worth making it public again.

Anyway that is one old undertaker’s opinion.

TVB

Linda Budzinski's picture

Walking a Mile in Our Exhibitors' Shoes

Members have told me they get a whole new perspective on their business when one of their own loved ones dies and they go from being the ones who are taking care of the family to the ones being taken care of.

The past few weeks have been similarly educational for me, as ICCFA has taken its booth on the road, exhibiting at six state conventions in the past month. (You can read more and see photos from some of these outings at Joe’s posts, here, here, here and here.)

Joe and I manned the booth ourselves at three of the six shows, and standing on the vendor’s side of the booth has given me a greater appreciation for what our suppliers go through to exhibit and to support our industry associations.

Some observations:

Scheduling is tough. So many trade shows, so little time! Coordinating our booth has reminded me a little of playing the tenth level in Tetrus (or at least, what I imagine Level 10 would be like if I ever reached it). Juggling the myriad order forms, shipping details, check requests, travel arrangements, etc., becomes a full-time job  -- and that’s before the exhibitor ever boards a plane or sets foot on an exhibit floor.

Especially in the month of June, the number of closely scheduled and conflicting events made things particularly difficult. We had to choose among shows and create duplicate copies of some of our exhibit materials to make our calendar work.

Our industry suppliers have long advocated for more joint conventions, and I can see why. Many state associations depend on their conventions and trade shows for much of their annual income, but there are states that have begun successfully collaborating, either intrastate, such as the upcoming joint meeting of the Florida Funeral Directors Association and the Florida Cemetery, Funeral and Cremation Association, or interstate, such as the biannual Mid-Atlantic Conference. As the cost of holding conventions continues to rise and our suppliers continue to look more closely at their exhibiting budgets, those states that are struggling to stage a viable show may need to look toward this type of arrangement.

Exhibiting is expensive. OK, I already knew this. Putting on a trade show is crazy expensive on the association’s side as well. But now I have a much better appreciation for how all of the expenses -- shipping, furniture, electric, display materials, giveaways, etc. -- can add up on the exhibitors’ side.

Note to self (and to my fellow association staffers everywhere): Do not take those exhibitors for granted. Many of them are small businesses and these shows represent a significant portion of their marketing budgets. We need to do our part to make sure their trip is worth every dime.

Attendees: More are better ... if they come by your booth. And there are ways associations can encourage attendees to visit -- and stay in -- the exhibit hall. Offering CE credits for visiting the booths works. So does providing food and drink. Planning the layout of the hall to encourage a steady flow of traffic is key. And scheduling your convention educational sessions so they don’t compete with exhibit hours seems like a no-brainer.

The people are terrific. By that I mean the attendees we met, the association staffs we worked with and our fellow exhibitors. Getting to know such a wonderful group of people has made exhibiting well worth the time, effort and expense. We feel truly blessed to be a part of this profession.

Fortunately, the events Joe and I attended were very well run, and we look forward to returning to each of them next year. Just as important, we plan to take the lessons we learned on the road and apply them to our own Annual Convention & Exposition to make sure our exhibitors walk away feeling the same way.
 

rob treadway's picture

ICCFA at Virginia Funeral Directors Association Convention

The most recent stop on ICCFA's tour of the states was right in our backyard at the Virginia Funeral Directors Association Convention in Roanoke. (Well not most recent, as I am actually writing this from Kentucky, but blog-time is close to catching up with real time).

 

To skip to the ending - since it was so delightful - here is the view from our car window during the first hour of the trip up Skyline Drive back home to Northern Virginia. Few pastoral settings compare to the beauty that is the Shenandoah Mountains.

 

Then, here is the view from our car window during the second hour of the trip up Skyline Drive after the rain and fog had set in. At this point our speed dipped from 35 mph to approximately 35 cph (centimeters per hour) as I attempted to navigate between the invisible lines marking the invisible road and the invisible 3500 ft drop which constituted the “shoulder.”

So the most interesting part about the 2009 VFDA Convention was the near flaming death off an Appalachian cliff. But the next most interesting part was definitely the wonderful folks Linda and I met and the gracious hospitality we enjoyed at the Convention itself.

 

Linda once again did yeoman duty manning the booth and answering questions. Plenty of people inquired about the new state requirement for crematory operator certification – which inspired ICCFA to quickly schedule three certification classes July 13-15 in several key parts of the state. Click here for details on crematory operator certification opportunities in Vienna, Richmond and Norfolk.

 

The Exhibit Hall sessions were well-attended, with food and beverage service available throughout most expo hours.

 

Kudos to the VFDA and Virginia Cemetery Association for signing a Memorandum of Understanding supporting the Missing in America Project (MIAP). Here, Convention Chair Robert Givens (standing) hands the documents to VFDA President Michael Rorrer for signature. As soon as a digital copy of the Virginia Memorandum of Understanding is available we will post it here as a model for other state and national organizations that may want to follow suit.

As an editorial note, I think a commitment to provide military funeral honors for unclaimed veterans' cremated remains is a truly noble effort the entire industry should support.

 

Pat Green of Integrity Burial Boxes is the Veterans Cemetery Liaison to the Virginia MIAP project.

 

VFDA Exec Lacy Whittaker kept the trains running on time throughout the Convention.

 

ICCFA Board Member Mike Doherty stopped by the booth during the “tailgate party with exhibitors.”

 

Some old and new friends in the booths around ours:

Good buddy and booth-neighbor wherever we go, Del Doleman of American Cemetery and Funeral Supply visits with a customer. Two things I have come to expect every time we arrive at a new trade show are: 1) another part of our exhibit booth will be broken, and 2) Del will be across the aisle.

 

Lar and Ken of Larken (get it?). They are a brand-new industry supplier selling amazingly inexpensive handmade urns.

 

Because of the rapid onset of senility I have forgotten their names, but the folks at Embalmers' Supply were very nice.

 

And below are just some random shots around the expo hall. Looking forward to the VFDA Convention next year in Norfolk!

rob treadway's picture

ICCFA At Texas FDA Convention

ICCFA Cremation Coach Julie Burn was a speaker, and VP of Membership Nancy Lohman and Allied Industry Chairman Allen Dave manned the exhibit booth, at the Texas Funeral Directors Association Annual Convention last week in Austin.

Here are some shots from the exhibit hall:

Nancy Lohman and Allen Dave with Vickie King White of San Antonio College.

TFDA Exec Ann Singer (l) with Nancy Lohman and TFDA staff members.

 

 

rob treadway's picture

ICCFA At ACCFA, 2009

In keeping with the rigors of our busy year, ICCFA was well-represented at the Arizona Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association (ACCFA) Annual Convention last week in Scottsdale, Arizona.

This time up: President Gregg Williamson and Director of Cremation Services Julie Burn were our ambassadors to this great state organization (which I hear is in the process of a merger with the Arizona Funeral Directors Association).

Thanks to the ACCFA for the warm welcome.

Bill Addison thanks Gary Brown for his service as ACCFA President. The plaque (provided by Matthews International) was given to Gary in appreciation for his role as president of the association. Gary has agreed to continue as acting president while the merger with the Arizona Funeral Directors Association is worked out.

ICCFA President Gregg Williamson and ICCFA Director of Cremation Services Julie Burn at the ICCFA Booth during the ACCFA 2009 Annual Convention.

Julie reported the ACCFA had a fantastic Convention, which is no surprise as it's one of the state organizations with stellar leadership.

Looking ahead, Julie (along with our VP of Membership Nancy Lohman and Allied Industry Chair Allen Dave) is in Texas for the Texas FDA Convention this week. Next week Linda and I will be at the Virginia FDA Convention in Roanoke and the following week at the Kentucky FDA Convention in Louisville. In July Bob Fells will be at the Florida combined meeting of the FCFCA and FFDA in Naples, Florida. In August Allen will be at NFDMA in Detroit. That is just skimming the surface because there are quite a few more before the "Convention season" is over for 2009. In fact, if there are any industry Conventions or Conferences ICCFA is not already scheduled to be at it is solely because we haven't managed to set it up yet or because it is logistically impossible. Getting out in public more has been a wonderfully rewarding experience we plan to build on going forward.

Nothing beats meeting people in person when it comes to learning about what is really going on in our profession.

rob treadway's picture

Scenes From OFDA

Exhibiting at the Ohio Funeral Directors Association 129th Convention has been a great time, because the people have been fantastic and there are just so darn many of them here. Traffic at our booth today was fantastic - we gave away hundreds of pieces of literature and are going to run out of much of it.

It has also been rewarding to be at a trade show and actually have time to talk with attendees and exhibitors. Typically, at the ICCFA shows, if I even get a change to look at you it would be considered meaningful social interaction between us. Here, it's absolutely heavenly to be able to converse at length without having to be somewhere in 45 seconds.

As a side note, my wife Linda and I were talking about how running a Convention and attending a Convention are so utterly different.

I noted: "Running a Convention is more like washing a boat than it is like attending a Convention."

She responded: "And attending a Convention is more like riding on a boat, than it is like running a Convention."

Among the many great people we've gotten to hang out with are OFDA Secretary (actually Treasurer by the time you read this) John Evans (l), here with Lincoln Heritage guys Chuck and Joe (will get last names tomorrow - sorry, I should be more observant of the people in the booth next to ours!)

Wilbert had a "Harley" themed booth with the obligatory biker chicks as decor.

Official Friends of ICCFA (l - r): Poul Lemasters, Larry Stuart, Mark Pennington

I just met Richard Steele of Eckels, and he told me that our show last month in Vegas was as good a Convention as he has ever attended in his life, and that he would be buying double the booth space at our Convention next year in San Antonio. That, my friends, is how you get your photograph on the front page of Joe's blog.

Here's the lovely Linda at the ICCFA Booth, from whence we gave away piles of paper and handfuls of chocolate. Judging by how much we have left I estimate we got to make contact with over 220 people so far. Tomorrow the attendee traffic is supposed to be slower so we will have a few hours to spend visiting with all the other exhibitors.

All I can say is - GREAT JOB OFDA. You guys really know how to put on a Convention, and your attendees really do take advantage of the opportunity to visit the booths.

rob treadway's picture

Pre-Convention Cycle-Intensive, at OFDA

Tom Routsong was born to ride a motorcyle with that plate on the back.

Tonight's pre-event reception for early attendees of the Ohio Funeral Directors Association 129th Convention was held at the magnificent A.D. Farrow Harley-Davidson dealership outside Columbus, Ohio (and generously hosted by A.D. Farrow, the oldest continually operating Harley dealership in the world). And even though Tom rides a Honda, he was definitely among the cooler folks in attendance because the vast majority of the rest of us travel strictly in vehicles with windows.

Linda and I got to meet a bunch of the OFDA leadership and staff, along with many other great folks from all around Ohio.

President-elect and Program Chair Tom Fleming is an avid Harley fan - thus the Convention theme "Life is short .. Enjoy the ride!" - and while I likely will continue to require those two extra wheels for personal transportation needs, I have to thank Tom for the opportunity to hang out around dozens of spectacular machines.

The evening actually began with a trip to the American Motorcycle Association Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum.

Photo above is OFDA Treasurer Terry Reardon, President-elect Tom Fleming, and an Arlen Ness cycle that costs more than your average college education.

Steve Jenkins and Linda Budzinski in front of another Ness creation: Two Bad, the Most Impractical Motorcycle Ever. Another look here. But what do I know, I'm a seat-belt guy.

Definitely a rousing start to Convention week! Looking forward to the kick off tomorrow and hanging out at the ICCFA booth and spending time with the whole Ohio crowd over the next few days.

rob treadway's picture

ICCFA in Springfield, Illinois

A number of ICCFA representatives participated in the American Board of Funeral Service Education (ABFSE) meeting in Springfield, Illinois, this week. The meeting, which just ended a couple hours ago, was a great learning experience, providing invaluable information about how we can best develop our educational programs going forward. It was also a chance to meet a bunch of great people and reconnect with some we had not seen in a while.

I will try to get some more photos posted later in the week. These are just a couple taken by our VP of Membership, Nancy Lohman.

 

Allen Dave, Mark Krause, Nancy Lohman, Julie Burn, Joe Budzinski at Lincoln's Tomb in Springfield, IL

Allen Dave, Mark Krause, Nancy Lohman, Julie Burn, Joe Budzinski at Lincoln's Tomb in Springfield, IL

 

ICCFA Immediate Past President Mark Krause and NFDA Treasurer Pat Lynch at Lincoln's Tomb

ICCFA Immediate Past President Mark Krause and NFDA Treasurer Pat Lynch at Lincoln's Tomb

rob treadway's picture

The Cryptones Play Sweet Home Alabama

Last song of the night last night, killer finish to Convention week.

Keynote speaker and all-around good guy Doug Gober on lead vocals.

UPDATE: Thanks to one of our commenters, here is the full list of Cryptones band members:

Keyboards & Vocals - Vicky Amato (performer at Pat O'Briens and wife of Doug Gober, New Orleans, Louisiana)
Bass - Chris Bentley (Las Vegas, Nevada)
Guitar and Vocals - Mike Burke (Palm Mortuary, Las Vegas, Nevada)
Vocals and Tambourine - Doug Gober (Matthews International Corporation, New Orleans, Louisiana)
Guitar - Mark Krause (Krause Funeral Homes, Milwaukee, Wisconsin)
Guitar - Rick Martin (Palm Mortuary, Las Vegas, Nevada)
Sax - Jay Poster (King David Memorial Chapel, Las Vegas, Nevada)
Drums - Rich Webster (Las Vegas, Nevada)

I only got one angle from the right side but the entire performance was professionally filmed so eventually the whole thing, with video of the entire band, may be available.

rob treadway's picture

Ladies and gentlemen: The Cryptones!

After a truly fantastic Convention this week, we did not deserve any more blessings but we sure got one at the end of the night. Is this a great country or what!?

That's Mike Burke, Chancellor of ICCFA University, and Vicky Amato, New Orleans piano bar maven and wife of keynote speaker Doug Gober, on lead vocals, and our immediate past president (and also a University professor) Mark Krause on lead guitar.

rob treadway's picture

The 2009 ICCFA Convention in 7.5 minutes

Here is a glimpse at the 2009 ICCFA Convention, which so far has been very good: large crowds in the Expo Hall and excellent educational sessions for the most part.

Linda Budzinski's picture

Are You a Fan?

So far it's been an unintentionally well-kept secret (because staff have been a tad busy getting ready for Vegas next week), but ICCFA recently joined Facebook.

Despite the fact that we've done zero promotion, we currently have 31 fans. (Hey, that's only 1,042,877 less than the Beatles!) If you're on Facebook, hop on over and become a fan. If you're not on Facebook, maybe it's time to join. You'll not only have an easy way to instantly connect with family, friends and colleagues, but you'll be able to poke people and throw sheep at them. Not that I've ever done either of those things.

BTW, my name on Facebook is Linda Acorn (which some of you old timers might recall is my maiden name). So while you're on there, look me up and friend me!

 

rob treadway's picture

Sneak Preview of Gary O'Sullivan and David Shipper presenting "What Works"

Two people whom you would not normally expect to see on a stage together, Gary O'Sullivan and David Shipper, put on one of the most informative and entertaining presentations I've ever seen, at the 2009 ICCFA Wide World of Sales Conference.

On April 23 at 11:00 am, they are going to do it again at the 2009 ICCFA Convention at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. Here is a little preview:

For those of you who missed out in January, this is your chance to see it, and some of you who were at the January conference might choose to watch it again because these are two smart guys who will have undoubtedly done some fine tuning the past few months.

Long story short: Unbeknownst to most of us, David and Gary spent the past three years working out a sales management system for David's properties. In the process, they discovered that all of the existing information and materials out there were in some cases in need of optimization and in all cases in need of integration. Thus, they decided to just write the whole thing from the ground up. And by whole thing I mean from ads to activity tracking, from first day training to detailed Encyclopedia Brittanica-level product awareness, from alpha to omega, from soup to nuts-on-Mars. As somebody who has worked on these sorts of things for the past twenty years, let me assure you their project was an absolutely insane endeavor to take on - but the result is ridiculously good. And I am not saying that as a business endorsement, but simply as someone who has labored in the same vineyard and can appreciate artistry.

This presentation called "What Works" is a tiny offshoot of that project whereby Gary and David share several important things they learned, some of which will likely be of value to every sales manager at the Convention.